The New Day And Team B.A.D. Just Set The Bar For Real-Life Mario Kart

I could probably try and get all thinkpiecey on why The New Day and Team B.A.D. are two of the best things going in WWE, but two things would be going against it. One, David already said it much better than I ever could. Two, why try and deconstruct it when you can just enjoy watching it happen? I mean, Disneyland is a masterpiece of civil engineering, but I’d much rather go on the rides than look at the park blueprints.

Instead, let’s just sit back and watch the latest wonder the two factions have given us. Here they are engaging in backstage kart-racing warfare and HOLD UP, IS THAT PRINCE PRETTY?

Is anyone else Jodie Fostering right now? Because I’m Jodie Fostering pretty hard. Anyway, I have questions.

1. I know Tyler Breeze has been losing on a lot of Takeover events, but is that really worth demoting him to Lakitu status?
2. Why did it take someone 12 years to think, “Hey, what if Mario Kart Double Dash had 50 percent more manpower?”
3. Was the Team B.A.D. kart throwing blue sparks, or were those just Naomi’s shoes?
4. If you’re going the Mario Kart route with the banana peel gag, why use Daytona USA music? Come on, Xavier. I know you’re the one editing these videos.
5. What’s the WWE version of the blue shell? It’s got to be the Money in the Bank briefcase, right?
6. Who’s the stagehand that looked the other way while this obvious workplace safety violation happened, and how quickly can I shake his hand?
7. How do you not end this with the Game Over music from Sega Rally Championship?

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Honestly, if these backstage shenanigans don’t lead to some kind of televised angle, I don’t know what the hell to say. Just have Naomi, Sasha, and Tamina leave the Hashtag Divas Revolution behind so they can throw shade at the Dudleys for a few months. B.A.D. Day rocks.