WWE Just Filed The Dorkiest Trademark For A New NXT Talent

On Jan. 7, WWE filed for a trademark on the phrase, “No Way Jose,” to be used for a character. PWInsider explains:

We are told the character is for WWE developmental talent Levis Valenzuela Jr., who was signed to NXT in May 2015. Valenzuela broke into the business in North Carolina’s CWF Mid-Atlantic and has a background in ballroom dancing. Valenzuela has yet to debut on WWE NXT TV.

Yes, this is what we thought of:

Here are some suggested trademarks for WWE to pursue.

1. “You got it dude,” “you’re in big trouble mister,” “aw nuts” or any of Michelle Tanner’s other catchphrases. Bonus points if you can find a way to use “DOGGIE ATE MY OUCE-CWEAM” for a character. Maybe the Usos? Double bonus points if you go beyond Michelle and use Full House’s less notable catchphrases, like DJ’s “oh Mylanta!” or Stephanie’s “yes he is/no he isn’t/yes he is/no he isn’t/[crying] yes he is” gimmick.

2. “See you later, alligator!/After ‘while, crocodile!” This is almost as much a dad joke as “no way, Jose.” Give it to ZZ, or maybe have JBL scream it 5-7 times whenever Luke Harper gator rolls somebody.

3. Anything 1950s Biff Tannen would attempt to say, such as, “make like a tree and leave!” You can go full Biff with Jack Swagger. “Make like a tree and get outta here!” It seems like “make like a banana and split” was destined for R-Truth.

The best part of “no way Jose” is that it’s for an NXT talent, which means they’ll find a way to make me love it. They turned “guy who carries around a towel with his name on it so he can hold it up while he makes puns” into one of the most popular people on the show. They even briefly made “Bull-Fit” seem funny. They’re miracle workers. My guess is they saw some old Manny Garcia promos, got mad that Carlito existed and Razor Ramon got all the Scarface references, and went with what was left. I look forward to rambling on incessantly about how great it is.