Sorry Everybody, But Yahoo Finance Says WWE Is Doomed

I can see why the average fan of the WWE is a bit worried about the product recently.  Roman Reigns is your Next Big Guy, and despite looking like Tactical Khal Drogo, he’s got a lot of work to do in the promo and charisma department.  Combine that with out-of-touch management and the bloated pace of your average Monday Night Raw, and it’s a bit of an uncertain time for the House of McMahon.  But geez, I had no idea things were this bad.  According to a Yahoo Finance report by Brian Sozzi of Belus Capital Advisors, WWE is already dead in the water.  I know, I’m just as surprised as you are.  Here’s the fatal diagnosis (or maybe prognosis, I can never remember) straight from the man himself.

Surprisingly enough, I did NOT find this on the r/cringe subreddit.  “Dropping a body slam” indeed.  In any case, let’s go through Sozzi’s Reasons WWE Will Die Because Shut Up, We Have MBAs And You Don’t:

  • Aging Talent

Yes, of course Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair are in their sixties.  The ravages of time bear down on us all.  But if I want to see the dudes actually wrestle, I’ll pull up Starrcade on the WWE Network.  Otherwise, chill.  This is 2015, Jake Roberts isn’t looking for a run with the Intercontinental Championship here.  John Cena hasn’t even hit 40 yet.  But let’s talk about the near future, when guys like Cena, Undertaker, Kane, and Big Show are ostensibly gone.  The three letters you need to know are N, X, and T, in that order.  The future is pretty bright for the talents down in Florida, assuming they aren’t automatically neutered upon transition to the main roster.  Ideally, I like to think the cream will rise to the top, but if you’d like to think that a geriatric Ric Flair is still the only hope for selling wrestling to kids, I don’t know what to tell you.

  • Injuries

Troublesome as injuries are, this isn’t exactly a recent development.  I mean, Kerry Von Erich wrestled for six years on one foot.  I’m not dismissing this, but any fan knows that this comes with the territory.  However, Sozzi’s making the argument that we’re seeing more injuries than usual due to performers taking elevated risks in an effort to keep matches fresh and non-repetitive.  Pump the brakes, sir.  Watch two back-to-back weeks of Raw and get back to me about the whole “repetitive” thing.  These injuries aren’t coming off desperate Phoenix Splashes to wow the crowd, they’re usually just commonplace moves that go a little sideways.

  • Vince McMahon

…well, no argument there

Sorry, sorry.  Actually, the concern here is that there’s no “heir apparent” once Vince is gone.  Again, this feels misinformed.  It seems to me like Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are being groomed to run things every day.  And if we’re being honest, don’t at least some of us wish for the day that Vince no longer has the final say in the creative department?  Losing Vince probably means an initial gut-punch in the stock market, but it foreseeably opens the door for Triple H to create the stars that Vince doesn’t see as brass ring grabbers.  If you’re worried that we have no more Hogans and Flairs, I have to think that Triple H in charge of creative leads to an environment where we at least try to create new ones, as opposed to McMahon’s “E Pluribus Cena” business model.

The thing to remember is that WWE will probably be around for a long time simply because it’s WWE.  You’re worried about competition?  WWE is so far in first place in terms of revenue that they’re probably in second and third place, too.  It’s a company that’s almost defined by its inability to live up to its wonderful potential – a machine that makes money in spite of itself.  As CM Punk said, Vince McMahon is “a millionaire who should be a billionaire.”  Televised pro wrestling isn’t going anywhere, but it’s going to leave a hell of a lot of money on the table.