Warning: The above video contains some mildly NSFW violence and language.
A lot of pro wrestlers turn to acting once their in-ring career starts winding down, and a lot of them, like The Rock and Batista, are pretty good at it. And then we have Rob Van Dam. Rob’s transition to acting has been unlikely to say the least. Dude isn’t exactly a matinee idol (at least not anymore) and he’s traditionally struggled on the mic when asked to do more than point at himself and say his name, but he’s still out there, spin-kicking his way through cinematic landmarks like 3-Headed Shark Attack. Bongs don’t buy and fill themselves, I guess.
Rob’s latest project is The Confession, in which he plays Detective Hartley, a gritty, ponytailed cop who has to crack a serial killer who only targets powerful men. Yup, that’s right, it’s Rob Van Dam vs. The Misandrist Murderer. I suppose if you’re going to have somebody fight a made up thing, a former pro wrestler is a good choice for the job. Warning: Rob unironically shouts “NOT ALL MEN ARE BAD” at one point. Try to keep your chuckles down at work.
So, yes, thrill at the acting battle between Rob Van Dam and actress Ashley Scharf, who’s so menacing, I’d probably be okay with letting her housesit my pets for a weekend. Chill at not one, but two craaazy twists. The Confession, the Rob Van Dam movie every bit as good as a mid-2000s Rob Van Dam match.