If you haven’t been watching TNA Impact Wrestling over the last month, here’s what you’ve missed:
– Their World Champion deciding he’s gonna simultaneously do MMA
– TNA Hall of Famer Sting getting more publicity from a 60-second video game commercial than he did wrestling in TNA for 11 years
– Impact Wrestling being canceled by SpikeTV
– The Internet thinking that is hilarious
You’ve also missed an updated Austin vs. McMahon, blue collar vs. the boss storyline that whiffs the context of Austin/McMahon to have one of the Dudley Boyz relentlessly stalk and threaten a middle-aged, non-wrestling woman. In TNA there are no good guys, only reprehensible bad guys with nothing else to do, and the only response to being insulted and not getting what you want is a creeper assault on someone literally 1/3 your size. Wrrrrrrrrestling!
If that’s not enough, TNA’s celebrating a 6-foot-3 wrestler’s attack on Blanche Devereaux by declaring August 7th “National Put Your Boss Through A Table Day.” THEY are declaring it that, just to make the wording clear. They want you to upload photos or videos of your boss and explain why they should get attacked in real life. THIS IS A REAL THING TNA IS DOING. There’s a cute “check your employee handbook” disclaimer in the middle to get them off of any legal hook, but nope, TNA Hurt Your Boss Day.
#BossToss: TNA Wrestling Declares August 7th “National Put Your Boss Through A Table Day”
Few are fortunate to work for a great leader. For the millions of others suffering from “I have the worst boss syndrome,” gritting the teeth and biting the tongue provide only a temporary fix to the daily agony of taking orders from a superior far less smart. To offer a solution to this global pandemic of frustration, TNA IMPACT WRESTLING (Spike TV, Thursdays 9/8c) is declaring this Thursday, Aug. 7, “Put Your Boss Through A Table Day.” Why keep slamming your head against the table when you can put your boss through it instead?
Between now and this Thursday night’s broadcast of IMPACT WRESTLING (Spike TV, 9/8c) the aggravated and oppressed are encouraged to check the social media policy section in their employee handbook then go online to share why their boss (past or present) deserves be tossed through a table using #BossToss. Be creative using video or photos, and be sure to tag @impactwrestling on twitter, and IMPACT WRESTLING on Facebook and Instagram when publishing a post.
IMPACT will select the best #BossToss entries for a prominent impactwrestling.com feature, and one #BossToss Grand Prize Winner will be awarded a $250 ShopTNA gift card and tickets to a future IMPACT WRESTLING event.
“Put Your Boss Through A Table Day” shares August 7 with other well-known celebrations like “Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day,” “Sea Serpent Day” and “India Pale Ale Day,” and is inspired by TNA Superstar and Hall of Fame inductee Bully Ray, who for months has endured constant harassment and provocation from his boss, TNA President Dixie Carter. Bully has guaranteed on IMPACT WRESTLING this Thursday, Aug. 7, (watch a preview) he will slam Dixie through a table, with #ItHappens already trending on twitter.
“I know what it’s like to have a boss you don’t respect; to have a boss you want to toss because you know you can do a better job,” said Bully. “This Thursday on IMPACT I will keep my promise of putting Dixie through a table and you will not want to miss the moment #ItHappens.”
I’m not sure how I feel, but this is close:
I encourage the staff here at With Spandex to participate in the event. Hell, if one of you wants to get to Austin before Thursday I’ll let you Bubba Bomb me through something. If not, I’ll raise the stakes and just start arbitrarily attacking my superiors at UPROXX. I can cutter the CEO of Woven through his living room furniture and not spend the rest of my life waiting tables, right?
Be sure to tune in to WWE NXT this Thursday to find out what happens on NOT THIS.