Hello, everyone, and welcome to the very first With Spandex recap ever of Total Bellas, the show about the Bellas and their fellas. The conceit of this Total Divas spinoff is that when Nikki Bell had her very serious, career-threatening neck surgery, she wanted to have her beloved family members around her as she recuperated. So she invited her sister Brie, Brie’s husband Daniel Bryan, their brother JJ and his fiancée, and their mother and HER fiancée, John Laurinaitis, to live in her and John Cena’s house (read: John Cena’s house) for the duration of her three-month rehabilitation.
Basically, it’s The Real World, but instead of strangers, it’s the Bellas accompanied by their respective fellows. I don’t know how they’ll manage to repeat the concept for a potential second season, but allow me to suggest that the cast live together in John Cena’s fallout shelter during the post-apocalyptic hellscape of Trump’s America. Just spitballing here.
Anyway, on to the show! Let’s dig into the scrumptious morsel that is the debut episode of Total Bellas, my and your new favorite television program.