Tough Enough Stuff, Episode 3: Zeroes Of Cosplay

After surviving their first bumps and a swim through waters of questionable safety, the remaining cast of WWE Tough Enough was subjected to more trials and tribulations on their road to a developmental contract. This week’s episode saw more than a few surprises, including a visit from WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins. Find out how the game changed in this recap of Episode 3, “Who Are You?”

Another One Bites The Dust

With no delay whatsoever, the first thing we see is Dianna reverting to “I Don’t Want To Be Here” mode. And she’s serious about it this time because she packs her bags, calls her fiancé, and makes her escape from the Performance Center under the cover of darkness like a SEAL Team 6 extraction. Not even five minutes into this, and we’re free of Dianna. Man, if they keep this pace, Patrick will be Intercontinental Champion and ZZ will have stopped world hunger by the end of the episode.

The rest of the recruits learn of Dianna’s departure during their morning workouts. Gabi is concerned that she’s lost her greatest ally, but no one else seems terribly concerned. The cast heads to a prop house for their first challenge, where Seth Rollins makes his arrival in a WWE-branded Jeep. He informs them that today’s task concerns character. Each recruit must pick a gimmick out of a hat, find a corresponding costume, and then flesh out the character. They only get an hour to select costume items, then it’s straight back to the Performance Center to show what they put together.

Less Billy Gunn, More Tim Gunn

Sara’s “Queen of Mean” attempt falls pretty flat. I feel like she would have done better with a different gimmick, so chalk it up to bad luck of the draw, I guess. She’s just so nice. She’s basically that one girl at the outdoor metal festival who looks way too wholesome to be there, but her boyfriend begged her to come, so she’s stoked anyway. Josh does a passable Bad News Barrett impersonation for his “British Brawler.” Daria’s attempt at “Fallen Angel” is a hot mess, and Tanner catches criticism for his “Stud Muffin” portrayal, especially from Patrick. Gabi does a decent “Farmer’s Daughter,” but she basically turns it into a Spencer’s Gifts sexy Halloween costume with little to no charisma. Patrick, on the other hand, goes full Dr. Evil and borrows Lita’s dog for his “Evil Intellect” character. I feel like this is a good time to mention that Lita’s dog has its own Twitter account, by the way.

Amanda takes Seth Rollins’ advice and really plays up her “Barbie Doll” gimmick. Mada actually impresses (for once) and goes full Egyptian pharaoh for his “King of the Ring” personality. If he sticks around, he should commit to that. I want an undead monarch at NXT who cuts promos by carving hieroglyphs into a stone tablet. Giorgia also does well with her attempt at “Bitchy Boss.” Finally, it’s ZZ’s “American Hero,” with an outfit I can only describe as “Uncle Sam Caricature at Rio Carnival.” In the end, it’s a repeat performance from Patrick and Giorgia, who win a competition for their second week in a row.

How did we ever enjoy fights before the Pause button?


How did we ever enjoy fights before the Pause button?

I’m Not Your Friend, Buddy

Back at the barracks, ZZ is pretty bummed out for coming up so short in the challenge. It’s kind of the first time we see him as a vulnerable person, and not as a Louisiana fortune cookie. I’ll reiterate what I said last week: They had better not break him. If this show ends up crushing the spirit of The Unsinkable ZZ Brown, then it was bad for humanity in general. At the same time, Gabi starts playing defense and tries to align herself with Sara. Gabi feels the need to put up a trustworthy buffer between her and danger, and Sara might be on course for a very important lesson in trusting too easily. Basically, it’s the Cersei/Sansa relationship before Ned Stark lost a quick ten pounds. Man, remember when Game of Thrones was good?

Anyway, things literally come to blows between Patrick and Tanner. Quick question for Patrick here: You’re 19 years old and you just challenged a semi-pro mixed martial artist to a fight, what in the sugar-coated hell did you think was going to happen? Tanner instantly shoots for the double-leg takedown, and if the two of them hadn’t been separated, I have to believe that Patrick would have been wrestled into submission within three minutes. This is where Patrick will have to make the most improvement… he’s young and talented, but he might be letting it get to his head. But if I’m playing devil’s advocate, Tanner also gets riled up too easy. So yeah, our two most promising in-ring candidates are both major hotheads. THE FUTURE OF THE WWE STARTS NOW.

Oh yeah, we still have a proper elimination to get to! Paige sounds like she’s not happy with anybody, telling Sara she sucked and calling Gabi “Hooker T.” The bottom three for the week are Daria, Sara, and ZZ. There’s a twist, though: They all get a second chance to try out their gimmick entrances. Sara and Daria are still pretty awkward, but ZZ manages to engage the live crowd at Full Sail pretty well. A lot of the cast thinks Sara should go home, but the votes say differently, and Daria is eliminated. Geez, what a crazy week. At least it’s over now and they’re not going to throw any more wrenches into the works.

Wait. What?

Week 3 MVP: Giorgia. She’s looking more and more like a natural, plus she comes without the drama of Patrick and Tanner. Sounds like a pretty safe bet, if you ask me.
Week 3 Jobber: Sara. Living proof that it’s absolutely possible to be too nice. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I hope Gabi rubs off on her a bit.
Week 3 Dark Horse: Mada. If he can work on not getting blown up instantly when he’s doing the physical stuff, maybe that inner pharaoh can take him deeper into the competition.