Xavier Woods talked to Sports Illustrated about his love of video games, and one important note dropped in passing stands out:
While Vince McMahon and Paul “Triple H” Levesque have not joined in on the games just yet, Woods explained that those plans are in the works.
“There are so many different types of games, so it helps bring people closer together,” said Woods. “Madden and Street Fighter are two very different things, but everybody can pretty much hold their own. Kofi games a ton, and most of the guys play sports game like Madden. There are guys playing who you wouldn’t think of as, quote-unquote, gamers.”
While I can certainly picture Triple H playing Madden — he seems more like a Tecmo Bowl kind of guy, but sure, Madden — Vince McMahon? They’ve talked to Vince McMahon about appearing on a YouTube gaming channel? Vince McMahon knows what video games are? I always figured when he had to promote a new video game they told him it was a cartoon.
If this is true and not just someone going “hey Vince, want to be on UpUpDownDown?” and him saying “what the f*ck is that” and walking away without listening, here are the games I want to see him play. In case I’m making too many jokes and you can’t see the bigger picture, Vince McMahon playing video games with Xavier Woods on YouTube would be the greatest thing in the history of our sport, and possible in the history of YouTube. It’s like, sneezing panda levels of important.
1. Duck Hunt
Tell me this isn’t the perfect choice. When I asked myself, “what game should Vince McMahon play?” this was my first five responses. Vince with a light gun. Vince deadpanning “you son of a bitch” at the dog. Better yet, Vince using an unplugged gun while Woods shoots all the ducks from slightly behind him and giving him all the credit. This would be perfection.
2. Pong
Maybe I’m thinking of Vince as older than he is — he would’ve played Pac-Man or whatever in the early ’80s, right? Was he too busy by then? — but the simplicity and possibilities for furious anger make the classic Pong a top choice. I mostly just want to see a YouTube gaming channel going crazy for Pong volley exchanges.
3. Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!
The combination of Vince excitedly yelling about Mike Tyson and making conversation about the other fighters is too great to pass up. I bet Vince would LOVE this game. Don Flamenco would crack him up. Soda Popinski? Come on, that’s like Vince’s fever dream for Sheamus. Plus, there’s a 70 percent chance we’d get Heath Slater working a Glass Joe gimmick on the next Raw.
4. Wolfenstein 3-D
There’s no way Vince knows how first-person shooters work. Why not let him figure it out while a bunch of Nazi sh*t’s happening?
5. Clue
