Welcome back, wrestle pals! It’s time for another two episodes of Wrestling With Death, and I have to imagine this season is winding down soon, right? Whatever, let’s jump into this!
EPISODE SEVEN
– The newest body, Ron, is what is known as a One-Point because only one incision is needed to get embalming fluid. INSIDER TERMS!
– Max has made the honor roll, and LaFonce promised to take his grandson on a wild animal safari, so it looks like a vacation is in the works.
– A MCW heavyweight title match is coming up, which is apparently a two time a year event, and LaFonce is leaving Jerry to promote it.
– During “vacation” with Sandra and Max, LaFonce calls Jerry repeatedly to check in on funeral business, frustrating the hell out of Jerry.
– Jerry teaches Derrick how to dress bodies for the funeral, which involves cutting shirts, because you can’t put a shirt on a rigor mortis body, and also that clothes have to be sewn on, since distraught family members sometimes pull on clothes when wracked with grief. SECRETS OF THE FUNERAL WORLD, REVEALED (I’m just waiting for the episode with the Stunt Granny).
– While LaFonce is away, Jerry organizes a photo shoot to create a MCW billboard featuring Big Daddy, Ms. Sandra and Mad Max front and center because screw featuring your champions, gotta stroke the ego of the promoter! Derrick says the photo shoot is where he shines, since it involves baby oil and posing.
– At the animal safari, the family gets attacked by a flock (?) of camels, who steal all of the generic animal food. Later on, Max correctly identifies a blue tongue skink, and now I realize that he and I are not too different.
– In the MCW heavyweight title match, White Lightning wins the belt, defeating Some Guy after a top rope clothesline. Hooray for old dudes beating young guys!
EPISODE EIGHT
– Harry shows up to fix some back deck steps at Derrick’s house because as a “diva”, Derrick is incapable of swinging a hammer.
– LaFonce’s brother Dee was diagnosed with prostate cancer, so LaFonce wants to make him as comfortable as possible. This involves giving the man some puppies (To me that just seems mocking, like “check out how full of energy and life these little guys are, you decrepit old man!”).
– Harry and Derrick are putting together the idea of a worked shoot regarding their relationship and creating a Husband-in-Law match.
– LaFonce decides to pre-arrange his funeral after seeing how serious Dee’s condition is.
– During Harry and Derrick’s run-through, things get heated when Derrick says he’s a better step-father than Harry will be a father. Things devolve into a pull-apart brawl, but the whole thing was just a work to show LaFonce how well they can sell the upcoming match.
– Derrick really wants to help Dee out since Dee was the first person in the Latham family to approve of Derrick’s marriage to Jamie. Being that this is small town Arkansas, my first assumption is the rest of the family’s issue was on a racial level.
– As for the actual match, it ends in a no contest to keep the fans interested for next week. Jamie isn’t too pleased, though. The hostilities kick off when Harry says Derrick’s only child is a result of Derrick getting drunk and accidentally sleeping with a woman, ooooh snap!
Speaking of next week, expect more corpses and terrible local wrestling.
