Hey again, wrestling friends. It’s time for another hour of Wrestling with Death, the show that won’t die.
EPISODE NINE
– LaFonce has to cancel date night with Sandra due to a recent DEATH CALL, so he’s staying late at the funeral home to finish some paperwork. The next day Sandra is upset and being very snippy.
– Bradley and Lamonte, the LA Hustlers show up to the funeral home, looking for extra jobs from LaFonce because they get paid three dollars total for each match. Not wanting to deal with corpses, LaFonce teams them up with Dorothy, Sandra’s mom, to sell burial insurance. Let’s hope they’re more on the Ziggler side of selling than the Undertakers (Oh god, I hate myself for that).
– LaFonce is taking clandestine phone calls, either to set up a make up for missing the dinner date with Sandra, or to schedule an assassination attempt on Sandra because she’s being a giant jerkstore.
– The first attempt by the LA Hustlers ends on a sour note as Lamonte calls a woman a cheapskate for not buying a better burial insurance plan. Back in the car, Dorothy agrees that the lady was a cheapskate, but that’s not something you can call a potential customer.
– Jerry suggest that LaFonce call up The Cajun Lady and fly her in for a main event match against Ms Sandra as a way to make amends. I guess that’s how apologies work in wrestling marriages (Take a note, Tyson and Nattie).
– Bradley and Lamonte are finally making inroads on the insurance front and begin selling policies. Hooray for capitalism!
– LaFonce is taking Sandra on a date, but he’s got to swing by the MCW arena real quick. EXCEPT SWERVE-A-RINO, it’s a candlelit dinner in the middle of the ring!
– It’s the night of the MCW show, and LaFonce surprises Sandra with The Cajun Lady in the dressing room. The main event is a mixed tag match, Ms Sandra and Big Daddy taking on The Cajun Lady and Lamonte. In true terrible women’s wrestling fashion, Sandra gets a roll up victory on The Cajun Lady, much to the appreciation of the woman in the front row missing several teeth.
EPISODE TEN
– Max wants to get involved in a match coming up, Harry versus Derrick. He plans on distracting Derrick so Harry can win.
– Derrick got a call from a Big Time scout and is getting a try out at The Show. Derrick wants to just head off, but Tonya says he needs to let LaFonce know what’s up.
– LaFonce is pissed and tells Derrick that if he ever walks off without giving a heads up, he’s gone.
– Derrick is off shooting a car dealership commercial while Max and Harry are trying to go over their spots for the match coming up.
– It looks like there’s also an issue with Max trying to hit spots, since he can’t stop from corpsing.
– Oh snap, LaFonce just fired Derrick! And not just the funeral home, but Derrick is gone from MCW as well. WELPZ
– During the family meeting, LaFonce breaks the news that he fired Derrick. Sandra and Tonya tell him that was a super bad decision, so maybe he’ll sleep on it. And now Derrick is in LaFonce’s office the next day to beg for his job back. Maybe LaFonce will make him join the Kiss a Corpse’s Ass Club.
– Max says his face is hot and he’s got butterflies leading up to his big spot, but I worry it might be a kiddie heart attack. Max manages to not break and hits a flying headscissor on Derrick, WHICH SOMEHOW DOESN’T RESULT IN A DISQUALIFICATION LOSS FOR SERPENT BECAUSE SCREW THE RULES, THIS IS MCW
Anyway, check back next week when a “big name” wrestler visits MCW (I’m hoping for either Sid Vicious, or another fellow Arkansas native, Jiggle-o James Johnson) and Sandra goes off on a health kick.
