Need to kickstart a busy day of hanging out with relatives you’d much rather toss in the ocean? Gotta get yourself pumped for maintaining your sanity around that one aunt who makes the worst of political Facebook posts look like the best of kitten Instagram posts? Or are you simply a human being with a breath and a pulse who, like anyone else, loves watching people’s nards get shattered?
I am the latter, and let me tell you, this may be the best thing WWE’s done since they made that weird extended butt montage to prove that CM Punk didn’t have a staph infection. An important F for your I: playing that video queued up alongside this one is the real reason for the season. But I digress.
The clip highlights some recent yet still magical testicular fortitude-quelling moments, like Jon Stewart nailing Seth in his little Rollins, Vince McMahon using his crazy old man strength on Roman Reigns’ hounds of justice, and of course, the Undertaker using his similar but undead old man strength against Brock Lesnar’s Golden Gophers. The clip also features some great throwbacks, including my favourite ballshot, Eve Torres turning on Zack Ryder at WrestleMania XXVIII. From the betrayal to the kick to the sell, everything was basically perfect. This is your legacy, Zack. I couldn’t think of a better one: