Last time in the last Best and Worst of NXT UK: Ilja Dragunov lost to Kassius Ohno, Nina Samuels defeated Isla Dawn, and there was a lot of drama leading towards TakeOver Cardiff. If you’d like to read previous installments of the Best and Worst of NXT UK, click right here. Follow With Spandex on Twitter and Facebook. You can also follow me on Twitter if you want.
And now, the Best and Worst of NXT UK from August 21, 2019.
Best/Worst: Are We Not Men?
The first thought I had seeing the Hunt this week is that WWE should have just brought in Primate to be the Rowan lookalike on Smackdown this week. Sure, he’s not nearly as big, but he does have the look, plus he could bring more interesting possibilities to that storyline just by being British, an ape in human form, and a good wrestler in his own right. The other redbearded gentleman who did play the part probably isn’t any of those things.
As for this match, I had a hard time rating it. It’s solid, don’t get me wrong, but it’s that thing where I know Imperium has to win for the storyline, but I don’t enjoy watching a wacky team like the Hunt get trampled beneath the boots of Aichner and Barthel. Italian A and German B are great at what they do, but I don’t always find them that entertaining while they’re doing it. Pseudo-fascistic wrestling perfectionism is a great heel gimmick, but it’s not usually a formula for the kind of wrestling I want to see. That said, I was happy that the Hunt got some offense in, and that the crowd obviously really loves them at this point. That’s as it should be.
Worst/Best: Shax Shaken, Storm Stirred
I don’t usually like to take shots at jobbers who are probably just starting out and are generally doing exactly what they’re there to do, but wow, Shax is like a parody of an NXT UK women’s wrestler. She wrestles in black full-coverage lingerie, and she enters in a matching frock coat, a tiny hat like Toni Storm used to wear, and a walking stick. A walking stick! My theory is that Candy Floss was a no-show, but Nina Samuel’s friend from theatre class happened to be backstage, and when they were like “Are you sure you’re up to this?” she said “A true artist can play any role.”
Fortunately playing the role of getting your arse kicked by Kay Lee Ray isn’t all that challenging, especially since Kay Lee is on hand to help you through the major beats (rimshot). Shax may be ridiculous, but she does the job of giving KLR a dominant win so she can transition directly into cutting a wonderfully vicious promo on Toni Storm. Toni even comes to the ring, just so Kay Lee can get right up in her face when she says that nobody loves her, and that she drives people away. She tells Toni that it’s her own fault that she has no friends and no boyfriend. She even tells her that her dad leaving when she was a kid was her own fault too, which is the kind of nasty heel shit I like to see. Basically, according to Kay Lee Ray, the only person who loves Toni Storm is Izzy’s non-union British equivalent:
And since Kay Lee clearly has a dog-eared copy of How To Be A Boss by S. Banks on her nightstand, don’t be surprised if British Izzy cries after having her spiky hat stolen at TakeOver Cardiff.
Best: Making A Mark
I had it in my head, probably for no reason, that Mark Andrews would have to fight Wolfgang from Gallus to earn his and Flash Morgan Webster’s place in the Tag Team Championship match at Cardiff, since Flash beat Mark Coffey, the other half of Gallus, last week. But in fact, it turns out that he’s facing James Drake of the Grizzled Young Veterans instead, which is actually more exciting. I haven’t seen Drake do much a solo wrestler (or at all, honestly, considering how rarely he and Zack Gibson defend their belts), and I tend to like his work a lot.
Drake is only a tiny bit bigger as Andrews, but this match sells him as a dangerous competitor. Nevertheless, Andrews maintains his pure-hearted energy and stands up to everything Drake throws at him. My favorite moment by far is when Mark counters a Cobra Clutch into a standing double stomp. I still don’t understand how that counter works exactly, but Mandrews made me buy it, as surely as James Drake sold it. There’s some chaos on the outside as Zack Gibson causes trouble, and then Gallus show up as well. Despite all the distractions, Andrews manages to hit the Stundog Millionaire, and he and Flash are going to Cardiff. I love a good Tag Team Triple Threat, and this one should be really solid. I wouldn’t mind if Flash and Mark win and become fighting champions, although I’d certainly miss seeing the Grizzled Young Veterans come out wearing the Titles with their suits to talk about how everyone is terrible.
Best: Bate Goes To War
When Imperium victimized Mustache Mountain, the awakened a Big Strong Bear inside Tyler Bate, and it’s come back to bite them. After their victory at the top of the show, Aichner and Barthel are sneak-attacked and beaten up backstage by a mostly-unseen figure with muscular legs in shorts (who could that be). Later, WALTER and Alexander Wolfe show up just to complain to Radzi that things like that shouldn’t be allowed to happen in NXT UK (not much room to talk there, buddy). Then WALTER promises to meet Tyler Bate face-to-face in the ring (which was also promoted last week), to deal with this problem.
As the show draws near the end, however, it’s Trent Seven who appears in the ring. This is his first appearance since being defeated by WALTER and roughly beaten by Imperium, and he seems to be feeling good. WALTER and Wolfe come out to deal with him, but as WALTER storms toward the ring, Tyler Bate appears and beats Wolfe with a chair. Now it’s down to just WALTER and two guys who both owe him beatings. Seven helps beat up the big man, but its Bate who gets the hero moment, hitting a Tyler Driver on WALTER and standing triumphantly over him with the UK Championship.
At first I thought it was weird that this stuff didn’t happen on the go-home show next week, but then it dawned on me that if this was how that episode ended, I would be 100% sure that WALTER would win at TakeOver, because I’ve watched wrestling before. Doing it now, and maybe giving Imperium the chance to get a little heat back next week, makes it seem much more like an open question who will leave Cardiff as the UK Champion. I hope it’s Tyler, obviously, but I’m really excited for the match either way.
That’s all for this installment. Join me next week, when Oliver Carter debuts, and Jordan Devlin faces Kenny Williams.
