The Assumptive WWE Smackdown Spoilers Report For April 14, 2016

Welcome to this week’s assumptive WWE Smackdown spoilers report. If you aren’t familiar, we take someone else’s Smackdown spoilers, jump to a bunch of conclusions about them without having actually been in attendance or watching the show, and assume they’re all absolutely correct.

On this week’s show, the number one contender tag team tournament continues, and Zack Ryder (kinda) gets back into the title picture.

What Happens On This Week’s Smackdown:
(reminder: snark aside, these are actual Smackdown spoilers)

– The show opens with Miz TV, and Zack Ryder interrupting. Miz teases that he’s going to give Ryder another title shot, but Ryder is already booked in a match against Baron Corbin. You can guess how that goes. Leave the front porch light on, Mojo.

1. Baron Corbin defeated Zack Ryder. Corbin beat up Ryder more after the match, just to make it clear how not involved in the secondary title scene Ryder is. Dolph Ziggler made the save, and Ziggler and Corbin brawled. I hope this angle ends with Ziggler and Corbin bonding over their love of bedazzled vests.

2. Emma defeated Paige. Here’s a fun game: try to figure out what the hell’s going on with Paige.

3. Tag Team Tournament Match: Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady defeated The Ascension. Enzo and Cass move on to face the Dudley Boyz, as you predicted. The Ascension move on to face unemployment and crippling depression.

4. AJ Styles defeated Alberto Del Rio. Early reports say Del Rio didn’t want none.

5. Tag Team Tournament Match: The Vaudevillains defeated Goldust and R-Truth. Like Emma vs. Paige, this was described as a “quick match,” so it looks like Truth and Goldust still aren’t much of a team. But there’s a backstage bit with them interacting with Fandango! That seems promising!

6. Sami Zayn defeated Chris Jericho by disqualification. Chris Jericho keeps getting all the good opponents. Dean Ambrose and Kevin Owens were on commentary causing distractions, and the match ended with Owens interfering. Amazingly, this doesn’t set up a tag team match for immediately after.

And that’s the show!