Sometimes WWE.com is breaking important wrestling news. Sometimes they don’t have much to say, and are like, “Hey, intern. You’re good at photoshop, right? Want to add some sparkles to a picture of Roman Reigns? We’ll call it SUPERSTAR SPARKLES.” We’re in the content aggregation business, we know it’s a tough row to hoe sometimes.
The latest Superstar Sparkles is ‘Spirit of a Superstar,’ and it’s exactly what you think it is:
What makes Bray Wyatt so evil? How does Sasha Banks stay motivated? In these stylized snaps, WWE.com explores what makes up the core of a Superstar. DIGITAL IMAGING BY ERIC HEINTZ
If you haven’t seen the gallery, go check it out. It features some very important images we now consider canon, including Baron Corbin having the mystical power of TOTEM SPIRIT LONE WOLF:
Corbin’s always had a sort of “Nightwolf from Mortal Kombat” vibe to him and we’ve long theorized that he’s a lonely biker werewolf, but now we’re forever gonna hope he finishes his matches with Animalities. Oh hey, Dolph Ziggler, spirit of a weasel. How about after the End of Days I EAT YOU TO DEATH WITH MY CHESTWOLF.
Sadly not all WWE stars have obvious animal imagery attached to their personae. That sets up pictures like this, in which Bray Wyatt’s body explodes because it’s full of bugs.
I was kinda hoping there was a giant crab living inside Bray. They could’ve at least put Erick Rowan in the background with a big sheep jumping out of his head.
Some Superstars don’t get animals at all. Were you aware that Brock Lesnar’s spirit is best described as a SPINE OF SWORDS?
Don’t give him any ideas, Dot Com, or the next time you see Brock he’ll have half a dozen penile swords tattooed down the middle of his back. Brock’s a beast incarnate, right? You couldn’t give him a beast? Is he a Ruler Sword from Castlevania?
Roman Reigns is probably my favorite, because his spirit is “additional Roman Reigns tattoo.”
What, no big dog?
Seriously, check out the rest of them here for such great headcanon realities like “Sasha Banks can fire money from her hands” and “Becky Lynch is actually an old robot.”
