WWE SummerSlam 2014 Predictions, Analysis And Shameful Cheerleading For Stephanie McMahon

WWE SummerSlam 2014 airs this Sunday, August 17, live on the WWE Network. It’s the BIGGEST PARTY OF THE SUMMER. In addition to that party, several wrestling matches will occur. Here’s what we think will happen in them.

WWE SummerSlam 2014 Card:

1. WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: John Cena (c) defeats Brock Lesnar

2. Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho (Note: Erick Rowan and Luke Harper are banned from ringside.)

3. Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon

4. Flag Match: Jack Swagger vs. Rusev

5. WWE Divas Championship Match: AJ Lee (c) vs. Paige

6. Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

7. Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler

8. Lumberjack Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

And Now, Our With Spandex Staff Predictions:

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: John Cena (c) vs. Brock Lesnar

What Should Happen: Brock Lesnar should eat John Cena for lunch. John Cena should be a Jimmy John’s sub and Brock should just literally eat him in front of everyone. I’m with Paul Heyman on the value of reintroducing selectivity and rarity to the WWE Championship, and a part-timer with the legitimacy and kayfabe street-cred of Lesnar is really the best time to do it. He’s not winning the WWE Championship and going off to make movies. He’s winning it and only defending it when there’s something or someone worth defending it against. I think that’s pretty cool. Then again, I have an attention span. Not expecting the dad at the WWE show in the John Cena shirt to feel me on that, but different strokes for different folks and all that.