At SummerSlam, Brock Lesnar mauled John Cena to become the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion. For once, John Cena’s sentence ended with a period instead of a comma. The booking possibilities were endless! Lesnar has so many fresh matchups waiting for him, and Cena needs time off to film movies.
So, who’s next?
Thanks to Triple H on Tuesday’s episode of WWE Main Event, now we know. Is it Roman Reigns? Will Sheamus use his pull as United States Champion — a technical “number one contender” position in the old days — to get his shot at Lesnar? Is Seth Rollins going to get brave and try to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase? Nope! Ladies and gentlemen, your Night of Champions challenger is none other than CESARO, a man with deep ties to Paul Heyman who has proven for the last two years that he’s nigh bulletproof in the ring. Cesaro’s planning to return to his “King of Swing” character that was getting such a groundswell of support around WrestleMania and challenge The Beast Incarnate as the only other man in WWE with supernatural strength. It’s gonna be great.
It’s JEEEEEEEEERN, CEEEEE-NAAAAAAA!
That’s right, folks, the one thing we said they shouldn’t do is the one thing they’re doing. They dropped their binkie and somebody has to pick it up and put it back in their mouth. John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Night Of Champions. Oh, rappadoo.
And hey, you never know. SummerSlam was such a trope-buster that maybe Night Of Champions will be, too, and Cena will get wrecked again. The “Cena always wins” gag is still strong, so maybe they’re doing a rematch to definitively say NO, BROCK LESNAR CAN KILL HIM, CENA HAS NO CHANCE. That way we’ve got a good reason to write Cena out of the title picture for a while. Otherwise, why WOULDN’T Cena get the next shot? Lord loves a rematch clause.
No. No, it’s not that. Sorry, everybody.