Morning Links: Life is Unfair

07.13.11 7 years ago 5 Comments


The Most Unfair Characters in Video Game History – Bo Jackson from Tecmo Bowl, the Miami Heat from NBA 2K11 and Michael Vick from every football game for like four years are included on this list, right alongside Dr. Wily. If we’re throwing in people from sports games, I’d like to nominate the entire roster of the American Dreams from Baseball Stars. [Smoking Section]

Behind Every Man: A Retrospective on Derek Jeter’s 3,000 Hits, Women – The most important aspect of Derek Jeter getting to 3,000 hits is that he has slept with (or at least Troy McClure-dated) nearly every attractive woman in Hollywood. I’d invite Jeter to my birthday party, but I’d be afraid he’d show up with Hayley from Paramore or whoever and just make out with her in front of me. I hate you, Derek Jeter >.< [With Leather]

Best and Worst of Raw 7/11: The Defining Moment of Our Generation – Actual important and cool things are happening on pro wrestling, so if you are one of those types who cheered for Stone Cold Steve Austin with your friends and haven’t given a sh:t since, jump in here and read all about it. Or, you know, don’t support the good stuff and we’ll have 10 more years of meandering crap. [With Leather]

On This Day in MMA History: July 12 – If you don’t like wrestling, you’ve probably never seen this baby photo of Brock Lesnar, and it is even better than you’re imagining. If I had three wishes, one of them would be to own a Baby Brock Lesnar. [Cage Potato]

Not Sports

RIP Sherwood Schwartz – Matt Ufford wrote a quicky eulogy for this guy, but he was actually super important to my life. I was a hyper-advanced only child without any form of ADD, so I spent way too much of my childhood staring at TV reruns, and without Sherwood Schwartz I would’ve been miserable and stuck watching NOVA. The Brady Bunch is shoot one of my favorite shows of all time, and last seasons Jan is the foxiest pre-birth crush ever. [Warming Glow]

Supercut: Cinemas Dirtiest Dirty Talk – I was hoping both American Psycho and Shark Attack 3: Megalodon would be in this, and I wasn’t disappointed. Not the kind of thing you should watch in front of people, but the kind of thing you should watch. [Film Drunk]

Meme Watch: The Zuckerberg Note Pass Is the Meme That Keeps on Giving – I feel bad that I think of Jesse Eisenberg now whenever I hear “Mark Zuckerberg”, to the point that real pictures of the guy look like an imposter. I wonder if Eisenberg is actually Facebook friends with Rashida Jones? [Uproxx]

The Live-Action Akira Has Finally Reached Its Apocalypse – The fact that the Akira movie is never going to get made is one of those things that help me know God exists. They wanted to make it about Keanu Reeves shooting machine guns and doing kung-fu with his motorcycle. Jesus Christ. [Gamma Squad]

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