FlipBoard
1. His favorite restaurant is the Cheesecake Factory.
2. He says “chipolty” instead of chipotle.
Two quick reasons to love Kaitlyn:
1. Texas
2. Everything else
It’s Labor Day, which means nobody’s on the Internet and tonight’s Raw thread will only have 30 comments. This is your best-ever chance to get on the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column’s Top 10 Comments Of The Week, so stop by and post “that Jerry Lawler, what a child molester, am I right” and reap your rewards.
This week’s Raw preview, which basically says what everyone’s thinking: “There’s a lot of stuff happening on Raw, but we only really care about the anger management segments”.
Well, that’s one way to get respect, we suppose. WWE Champion CM Punk’s desire for vindication took a brutal turn for the worst last week when, in a Steel Cage Match, Punk pummeled Jerry “The King” Lawler into unconsciousness after the WWE Hall of Famer refused to acknowledge The Second City Saint as Best in the World. It took John Cena to stop the attack, and the WWE Universe seemed hesitant to give Punk the dues he covets, though, as the champion defiantly turned his back on Cena and strolled out of the arena without another word. With Cena set to challenge Punk for the WWE Title at Night of Champions per Raw General Manager AJ Lee, how will the reignited rivalry between the two play out when Raw reconvenes this week?
Also, anybody else really excited to see those anger collages? (via WWE.com)
Here’s WWE.com user Taylor Martin with further, unedited analysis:
cm punk i used to hate your guts i wouldnt have cared if u left and never came back but then one day u spoke your mind and i admired u for that u won the wwe title and u went from being hated to my favorite wrestler and there was alot of times that i thought u were the best in the world i dont think we would have been able to make it through the john laurinaitis era without u he was the worst gm in history he put u in so many unfair matches but u didnt complain u went out and did wat u had to do bc the best in the world likes a challenge but aj puts u in a triple threat match and u complain about defending your title wat the heck man and the week b4 john cena cashes in money in the bank he saves u from big show next week big show attacks john cena and u turn your back on him and when the rock decides ok if cm punk is goin to help i will u attack him i understand where your coming from about the rock but punk even u admitted not to long ago respect has to be earned and u earned mine 100% but with each passing week since u attacked the rock you have been losing my respect bro your the voice of the voiceless your suppose to speak for us but lately it seems u only speak for yourself and jerry lawler when he said u turned your back in the heat of that moment i thought u turned your back punk your my favorite wrestler please dont make me hate u again right now i think your the best in the world i would hate to be proven wrong i hope u do some serious soul searching my friend
This week’s column is just a picture of me throwing up my hands with a big “I AM NOT WWE’S TARGET DEMOGRAPHIC” under me in meme font.
As a reminder, if you want to take advantage of that whole “30 comments” thing, your funniest comments (all 3 of them) can be considered for inclusion in tomorrow’s BAWOR column. To nominate a comment for top 10 status, please respond to it with a +1.
To nominate a comment for inclusion on WWE.com, please respond to it with a 4,000-word sentence recapping recent events.
WWE Raw open discussion thread study questions:
1. What’s your favorite restaurant?
2. Something about picking your nose
That was a a pretty good Raw.Of course, any Raw without Lawler is probably going to be a step up. It saddens me that AJ has quickly become the worst part of the show.
Ziggler winning was amazing. And Slater actually made punch and kick Ryder look good.
One thing about Eve. . . Apparently she’s really good a BJJ. Why not allow her to be a BJJ diva to bring in a different fighting style to the Women’s division.
Was anyone else confused about the Layla/Miz interaction that happened?
I think Eve not jiu-jitsuing people is partly that not enough care, attention, or time is spent on the Diva division, so there isn’t much of a chance that Eve’s background/skills are ever considered. Plus, Kelly Kelly can’t run the ropes properly, so I don’t think she could get put into a kneebar without hurting herself, Eve, and the referee.
The other aspect is that crowds generally shit on someone for submitting instead of just accepting it as another method of defeat.
Guys, I think the big angle this week was the start of Matt Striker’s transformation into Scruffy the janitor.
I got more of an Ann “Her?” Veal vibe, but I can see the Scruffy comparison.
Chekov saw none of this coming.
The main event was better than I thought since it seemed pretty paint-by-number’ish in its execution. Cena Halpert-ing? Terrible. Paul Heyman at the end though? Genius. It’s too bad that Punk is like Walter White now though, or maybe it’s because they were in Chicago. What I mean is, he can be the most rotten heel and people still love him.
Maybe I’m just poisoned by spending so much time on the Internet, but are there *any* faces who are universally loved? Attacking Cena or Santino is a great way to get the kids to hate him, but what about everybody else?
…A vicious attack on Orton or Sheamus would turn the majority of the crowd, I guess. But there’s still going to be a decent amount of the crowd who still cheers Punk just because he’s awesome. And in Chicago, forget about Punk being heel.
Punk doesn’t need a mouthpiece, obviously. But yeah, Heyman will get heat immediately. And the promos will be awesome. My fear, however, is that this eventually leads to Punk/HHH again. Hunter better do the right thing this time, if it happens.
It doesn’t seem like they’ve really “tried” to get Punk legit heel heat, though. It’s kind of like they’ve done his heel turn in ultra slow motion. Like, I hate Cena (and so does half the crowd at any WWE event) so it’s easy for Punk to immediately win over half the crowd by beating up / sticking it to Cena. Same thing goes for beating up Lawler. But they could easily make him a huge heel if he were to take his “I deserve to be the focus of the show!” outrage and had him absolutely destroy people like Santino (for people popular because he has a stupid kids gimmick) or the Diva’s champ (because, wtf?! You’re not a wrestler, you’re just a bit of T&A the WWE uses to help sell tickets).
Boom. Instant fan hatred. Then you could have Cena show up to be, like, enough is enough. I’m standing up for the people (because I’m Super Cena and blah blah blah).
Anyhow, I like Heyman. I just don’t think Punk needs Heyman.
Because nothing they’ve tried to get Punk heel heat has worked; the crowd still loves just about everything he does. Heyman, meanwhile, gives a lot of people Insta-heat. On top of that, it’s a nice callback to The Promo.
Why team Punk up with Heyman, though? Heyman is an awesome mouthpiece for guys that are terrible on the mic (i.e. Lesnar). Punk is definitely one of the few guys that doesn’t need anyone to speak for him, so it doesn’t make any sense to have him tied to Heyman. If he needed more “heel heat” then they could just have him do more awesome heel stuff (i.e. don’t just kick Cena in the head during his NHB match, kick him in the head and then beat him up so bad that he’s kayfabe hospitalized).
Cena needs to take lessons from milhouse in eyebrow movement.
Back from the arena with White Castle to watch the show to see how much heat they pumped in/how much selective mic work happened. Punk could do no wrong, even when he said he was taking a day off. Cena boos were pretty deafening, but we were enjoying the Cena/Del Rio ESP since we did not get a Punk match ( there was no dark match.) Almost like they thought “we’ll show you guys! Mess up our storylines by not booing! No match for you!” Cena did bring in the Macho Man cosplayer into the ring after there was a short melee with Sheamus, Cena,Orton, Ziggler, Ceasario, Del Rio & Punk. Oh and Cena beat up the Miz. Which is always fun.
Plus. Mother Effin Paul Heyman. What a pop in the arena. Made up for the ending being backstage.
I look forward to reading all the comments to see what everyone thought. Now…food coma.
Yeah, there’s a fine line between “being in character and doing commentary (i.e. Miz, JBL, Mr. Perfect, Bobby Heenan, in ascending order)” and playing “your character doing commentary (Lawler, Booker T, Macho Man).” So when Cole doesn’t feel like he has to balance Jerry Lawler’s Company Line and Puppy Emporium, he can be a lot more focused on the action and do a halfway competent job.
The answer is that Cole hates Lawler, a face. But being next to Miz fills him with love.
On the mention of Cena beating up Miz, that made me think about Miz filling in for Lawler at the announcer’s table. I’m having trouble wrapping my head around what the WWE is doing with the announcers. I mean, shit, Cole is downright charitable towards the faces now. When did he become the face cheerleader? And then they bring out Miz and he starts being a booster for the good guys, too? Mind = blown.
plus, love Paul Haymen! Anyone who can make Brock not boring as a god. I hope he is going to be a bigger part of the show … without Brock.
The entire WWE locker room is already tired of Punk telling them how great the Wire is.
While Shamus’s comments were basicly the first things he has said/done that I actually liked in some time (racism/grand theft auto), It still bugs me that he still had to make mention of the fact that he was Irish in everything he says. So my dream is to play a wrestler named William ‘ Whitey’ Caucasian, who during any conversation will randomly mention how easy it is for him to get a cab or a bank loan and how friendly the police are.
Paul Heyman as Retarded Ryan Gosling in Drive 2!
Okay so… I finally was able to watch RAW with some friends. However, they did not know I liked wrestling. I gave them the “heads up” by telling them I like wrasslin’, but maybe they perceived it as something else. In any case, I spent the entire time getting drunker and drunker and having to defend my love of the sport. I wish I could watch this show with you guys, because that was tiresome. At a certain point, I couldn’t even argue anymore; subjectivity is a non-issue and yet here I was.
Labor Day here in Brooklyn was CRAZY, and it was fun (aside from the shootings), but goddammit, I love me some wrestling and I’m going to watch it unashamedly. And hey! Where the fuck was Damien Sandow?! Oh, I know he’s in Australia with the chazzwazzers, but still! It’s all I really care about. However, I’m happy to have seen Lord Tensai again.
LORD TENSAI IS AWESOME AND FUCK YOU HATERS HE RULES. OPINION. OPINION.
Oh and CM Punk is with Paul Heyman????!!! And BAAAROOOCCK LESSSSSNAR? STABLES. We need more of them.
Yeah, my shoes are pretty crappy at the moment. Need new One Stars.
Well I guess I wish I were in your shoes at that moment. Or at least near your vicinity.
*Sandow
Actually, Sandiw opened the show for the Superstars taping, it was awesome.
the most dangerous alliance is meat + colon, what else?
One of my friends says “Chiportlay” instead of Chipotle. Should I hate him too? Because I am seriously considering it.
Tone it down, dudebro.
Good ending!
:(
3000.
Now Paul Heyman’s gonna go drive CM Punk to beat up The Rock in the next Fast and Furious movie now.
Did not mean to surround that with nows, unfortunate.
I like that they added a deliciously unexpected Paul-flavored twist to the obvious “Punk interferes lol” ending that everybody saw coming. I also liked that it looked like Del Rio was super effective against Cena in his own right. Also, announce table! My favorite weapon!
Deliciously unexpected is exactly the way to describe Paul’s big beautiful bald head poking out of that window. At first I thought it was just the stunt driver making sure not to run over Cena’s hand, and then YAY!!!
go away
what the hell?
upvote
So I’m way behind and catching up with DVR, but has anyone suggested that Ryback get a nice, air brushed picture of Audrey 2 on his singlet?
How long has it been since we had an entire episode of Raw without a single Triple H sighting? It felt so good.
Things that are never not funny – Fat people in FEED ME MORE t-shirts.
Shit, Paul Walker is one tough dude. That fall would have killed anyone else.
I’m with 85 on this. Didn’t get to watch a lot of it, just some early on and was able to catch the Main Event. Best Cena match I’ve seen in a while. He and Del Rio work well together (when they can hit each other with random crap). And Paul Heyman driving the Chrysler 300? Ah. Mah. Zing.
To my favorite C.M.,
It will be an honor working with you.
Fondly, P.H.
+MAKING POOPIEZ
+*”Holy shit while taking a shit” face*
+W.W
That was hands down the best John Cena match not involving Punk in I couldn’t say.
That was a great falls count anywhere match.
This was the first Raw since #1000 where I haven’t felt exhausted by it and waiting for it to end. That was a fun 3 hours. Keep it up, WWE.
You thought that episode was legit awesome? Granted, there were a lot of good bits in this episode but here’s my big three super annoying parts:
1) The Kaitlyn – Eve match was retarded for multiple reasons. First, you’ve got two hot girls in the ring and one of them actually has some skill…so let them put each other in wicked submission holds to fill out the match time. And DON’T spend half the time with the camera on the announcer’s table. Then there’s the obvious botch right before the finishing move. And then there’s the whole “what’s the point in having your #1 contender lose right before the PPV”?! part. Stupid WWE loj1kz.
2) Having Daniel Bryan and Kane hug it out was a funny angle but they were just killing time for a large bit of that segment. And that made me think about how the WWE really does waste the 3 hrs. they have ever Monday.
3) Vicki and AJ. What’s this? More clearly obvious time-killing? Why, yes. Yes, it is.
Probably! At the very least, the absence of Lawler cut down the number of face palms by about 95%.
me too! I was just gonna watch the opening and ended up watching the whole thing live. RREAALLY freaking good. I think the Miz had something to do with that too?
38 TO GO!
Anyone know the latest one of these threads has gone?…..one week we should just attempt a marathon thread session
It usually dies a death within a minute or two of Raw ending.
Soooo close to 3,000 comments this week. Good night all.
not over yet
That was a really good match too, on top of it all. Del Rio earned his paycheck with that one.
I’ve been out all night, then get home to see the last 15 minutes of a surprisingly great Cena-ADR match and that mindblower of an ending. Was the whole show anywhere close to that good?
Yeah I wouldn’t get your hopes up on Swagger.
But yeah, Vickie went Clint Eastwood with a chair and it was great. The other 10 minutes of that segment though…
I’m pumped to catch up on Kane-Bryan. And emo Swagger… well, I’m sure that was interesting.
Also, Vickie did a Clint Eastwood and it was amazing. The Miz was surprisingly great on commentary. And there wasn’t a single Triple H video package.
Everything with Kane/Bryan was money again. Ziggler and Orton had a decent match. AJ murdered Little Jimmy. Jack Swagger got super emo. Good night.
Oh and no Lawler.
Paul Heyman also drove the car Nexus used to beat up Bret Hart
Was it a Ford Nexus? ….get it?
I wonder if brandon looks forward to these ridiculously good raws, longer write ups?
Heyman hates Lawler just as much. This makes so much sense on so many levels. It would also explain Punk and Heyman tweets months back.
Hey, a good idea for Brandon and WithLeather would be a live after-Raw podcast where we can call in via skype and stuff :D
‘Cause, you know, Raw isn’t long enough and Stroud doesn’t have enough to do.
You know, like be a husband or anything.
I have a feeling we need to ask@ItMustBeDestiny if Brandon could please come out to play for a post-RAW podcast, much like the call in shows after a sports game.
Thank god someone remembered that they have Paul Heyman at their disposal and got the McMahons to get over themselves so they could use him.
That was a much better show. It still had its weak moment (I am going to bitchslap my boss tomorrow, because WWE said it was okay), but it had more good moments.
And if you didn’t get your full fix of shit acting during the AJ/Vickie segment, stay tuned for Paul Walker in The Fast And the Furious!
Yeah mostly I hated Vickie the longer it dragged on. Vickie is good for about 2 minutes, and every minute after her voice just eats away at my will to live. She needs to be taken in small doses.
I kinda think AJ’s acting when she snapped was the only redeeming part of that segment. Next week, AJ better put Vickie in a match with… idk, Beth or someone. Otherwise I’ll be disappointed.
This is like when they did Jason v Freddy or Aliens v Predators. You love the idea as soon as you hear it but the final result will shit on your dreamds.
So now that the shows over do I just put the money on the night stand and leave? Or do we make awkward chit chat about “The Fast & the Furious”?
Does this mean the next good Raw will now occur between March-May of 2013?
I was hoping Heyman would spit on Cena and drive away.
If Heyman busts out the cordless phone with the antennae next week the internet shits itself
Just turned on Comedy Central expecting The Daily Show and got Jeff Dunham… That is a pretty goddamn big drop in quality.
They are Tuesday through Friday this week, don’t worry. Daily Show has been fantastic lately.
Paul & Punk have been trying to push people away from thinking they’re aligning, but fuck yes!
I have to go now, but that was the best RAW in a while, and Heyman at the end was the ABSOLUTE BEST.
Goodnight, everyone, this was great.
I turned to the VaTech/GaTech game. What happened with Heyman? :(
He was the CM Punk Getaway Car driver