Fictional British Commentator Jonathan Pie Gave Boris Johnson The Delightfully Brutal Sendoff He Deserves

The UK has a leadership problem. Fortunately, the UK also has Jonathan Pie—a (fictional) political commentator who is happy to say the quiet part out loud. On Thursday, Pie (the creation of actor/comedian ​Tom Walker) had some pretty blunt final words for outgoing British Prime Minister Boris Johnson—the majority of them not suitable for most ears.

For those confused about exactly what happened in the lead-up to Johnson’s decision to give up the ship, Pie made sure to clarify:

The Prime Minister forgot that his Whip was a sexual predator? No answer to that one. No answer, no humility, no meaningful apology. For days, just more Dickensian twaddle and a little reshuffle. Not so much reshuffling deck chairs on the Titanic, more reshuffling cat shit on a litter tray. And the manner of his departure should tell you everything you need to know: no dignity, just desperation and delusion and a despotic disposal to cling to power—no matter the harm to our country.

The “predator” in question is Chris Pincher, a longtime MP who Johnson originally appointed as Minister of State for Europe and the Americas in 2019, despite a fairly long record of sexual misconduct complaints. While Johnson attempted a couple of reshuffles, one in 2020 and another in February of this year, Pincher’s lascivious nature eventually caught up with him (again) when he was accused of drunkenly groping two men while at the Carlton Club, a private members’ club that was the original home of the Conservative Party back in the mid-1800s. Pincher resigned the next day.

Pie also took a minute to direct his ire straight at the Conservative Party as a whole for pretending to be surprised that Johnson, who is a notable liar, well, lied. Hmmmm… between that and the garage sale doll hairdo, this all sounds weirdly familiar:

His CV reads like a demon’s resume. These noble Cabinet ministers all falling on their swords. These are the f**kers that enabled Boris to be there in the first place. And just look at what he’s achieved: Trust in politics at a lower ebb than that time President Trump told Americans to drink bleach.

While Pie may be a fictional character, his political takes are right on the money—as evidenced by the fact that his video blew up on Reddit, with few people realizing it wasn’t a real broadcast.

Fox News could take a hint from Jonathan Pie.