‘Monopoly’ Will Get Some Odd New Tokens, Courtesy Of The Internet

Generally, letting the internet vote on things is a bad idea. It’s how Pitbull wound up in Alaska, how Taylor Swift wound up performing at a school for the deaf, and a multitude of other offenses, and these are just from 2012. So Hasbro has rather tightly controlled its poll of which emoji are becoming tokens in a new version of Monopoly called “Token Madness,” although that still leaves room for some, ah, odd selections.

You head over to the voting site and, for some reason, the tokens are scattered all around Uncle Pennybags’ apartment, which confirms, among other things, that he pees in the sink, since his bathroom doesn’t have a toilet. Among your choices are dinosaurs, yachts, private jets, and a lot of shoes since apparently people are still bitter the boot was thrown out in favor of a cat. Sadly, Hasbro is not including the emoji you actually want, like the cherries, the peach, the eggplant, and definitely not the poop, which is kind of a shame since the only reason that poop emoji exists is because it’s a pun in Japanese. It means good luck, Hasbro, let us have luck! Also give Pennybags a place to drop a deuce for God’s sake, the man must be more backed up than a two-lane road at rush hour at this point.

Most of them, as you might expect, are either conventional or about as lame as the thimble, but there are a few you’d actually want to play, like the T. Rex. Who wouldn’t want to rampage through Atlantic City as a thunder lizard? We’ll find out if the handful of cool ones make it through to a collector’s version of the game, or if we’re stuck with that dumb thimble, January 31st.

(via The Verge