The Man Who Patted Rudy Giuliani On The Back Will Have Charges Dropped (As Long As He Doesn’t Lightly Pat Anyone Else On The Back For 6 Months)

Back in June, the news cycle went understandably wild for what should have been a nothing story that turned into a national obsession — all thanks to, who else, Rudy Giuliani. While campaigning with his son Andrew, who was running for governor of New York (spoiler alert: he lost), the two Giulianis spent part of their Sunday at a ShopRite on Staten Island. Which only sounds idyllic. At one point during their visit, one of the store’s employees — who most definitely was not a fan Giuliani the Elder — tapped the former New York City mayor on the back and asked, “What’s up, scumbag?”

While Rudy could have reacted in a number of ways — like, say, ignoring the heckler — he instead chose to go on a publicity rampage and escalate what he deemed and “attack” with each retelling. Giving the world yet another reason to both laugh at the man formerly known as America’s Mayor, and kind of feel bad for just how hard a hit his reputation has taken in recent years. Of course, it didn’t help that Rudy claimed he could have died. Or that there was video footage of the altercation, which made it clear that the “assault” in question was minor. While the perpetrator of the back-smack was arrested and taken into custody, where he was held for more than 24 hours, police were quick to downgrade the charges because, well, nothing really happened. And now, the Associated Press is reporting that the man may not end up facing any consequences for his actions at all.

On Wednesday, Rudy’s so-called attacker accepted a deal to have all charges against him dismissed — provided he doesn’t feel the urge to gently graze the backs of any other political has-beens or get into any other kind of trouble for the next six months.

The court issued a statement on Wednesday, which read that the instigator had indeed “violated a basic social contract which is a lesson taught when we are young — keep your hands to yourself.” But the DA admitted that proving the man in question caused any kind of physical injury to Rudy, or even that he intended to, would be “extremely difficult.”

So it sounds like Rudy can go back to worrying about more pressing matters, like being the target of an investigation into election meddling in Georgia and complaining about being barred from Fox News.

(Via AP)