Viral

Chris Hayes Gave A Hilarious Slow-Motion Play-By-Play Of Rudy Giuliani’s Exaggerated Response To His So-Called ‘Attack’ At A Staten Island Grocery Store

On Sunday afternoon, headlines began blaring that Rudy Giuliani had been “attacked” and “assaulted” while stumping for his son, New York gubernatorial candidate Andrew Giuliani, at a ShopRite on Staten Island. To hear Rudy tell the tale made the incident sound like something akin to the D-Day scene from Saving Private Ryan. Then the grocery store released the video and this vicious assault that had Giuliani claiming he could’ve “died” had he been a “weaker 78-year-old” turned out to be little more than a slightly aggressive pat on the back.

On Monday night, MSNBC’s Chris Hayes went full Zapruder on the footage with a slow-motion replay of the incident (if it can even be called that). Hayes—who has been known to totally lose his composure while reporting on the stupidity of dumb Republicans—played the segment out for maximum comedy in the totally straight-faced way that he does by building up the weekend’s events. Describing Rudy as a former lawyer for Donald Trump “who had his law license suspended for trying to steal the election, so he has plenty of time on his hands these days to help his kid run for office.” Which is exactly what Rudy was doing when “to hear him tell it, he was viciously attacked by a grocery store worker,” Hayes said.

Among the various ways Giuliani the Elder has himself described the events of that day include it feeling “like somebody shot me,” being “as if a boulder hit me,” and noting that “it hurt tremendously.” The former New York City mayor told The New York Times that he sustained “red marks” on his back from the incident, but was fortunately not bleeding. (Also fortunate: That he spared us any photographic proof of his naked back.) He also bitched about Fox News not giving his “assault” any coverage.

Then Hayes played the footage of the incident, which show a man patting Rudy on the back—presumably to get his attention—so that he could call him a “scumbag” in response to Roe v. Wade being overturned. Hayes’ reaction to the video? “What… Wait, that’s it?! THAT’S what felt like a boulder or gunshot?!” Just to make sure he wasn’t missing anything, Hayes replayed the moment in slow motion and indeed confirmed that, nope, it was just a tap on the back.

Police did arrest Rudy’s “attacker,” Daniel Gill, and charged him with assault. Gill’s lawyers released a statement noting that: “Our client merely patted Mr. Giuliani, who sustained nothing remotely resembling physical injuries, without malice to simply get his attention, as the video clearly showed. He was then needlessly held by the NYPD in custody for over 24 hours.”

While Hayes asserted that “nobody should lay hands on anyone—not Rudy Giuliani, not anyone, regardless of their intention,” he also noted that the footage of the incident “does make Rudy Giuliani’s description of the assault seem pretty ridiculous. Always a good reminder to take what these guys say with just the largest possible grain of salt on planet Earth.”

On Monday, a judge—presumably after viewing the same footage—downgraded the charges against Gill.

You can watch the full clip above.

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