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Customer Service Agents Spill The Secret Stuff They Wish You Knew Already

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Reddit is generally known for its salacious threads and stuff like atypical dating advice. The site can also be useful to find out how certain professions feel about the general public. Such as the notion that bartenders think their patrons are drunken idiots. To be entirely fair, yes, people who hang out in bars are often drunks, and sometimes they’re idiots, but generalizing isn’t too useful in this instance.

In a new Reddit thread, plenty of useful generalization happens in the form of customer service agents spilling the stuff they wish you knew. If obeyed, this knowledge will make everyone’s lives much easier. Let’s do this:

First up, Strip Mall Ninja tells a sobering truth that will forever alter my phone calls. This is terrifying, guilt-inducing information:

“If I ‘Put you on hold’ and you don’t hear music, I’m actually just muted. I can hear ALL the sh*t you just said about me.”

Dylanus93 is all about finding the path of least resistance at grocery stores:

“If you’re not going to get something, just hand it to the cashier and say you don’t want it. Don’t hide it in the candy rack, especially if it’s something like ground beef. Also, if you’re not going to buy an entire cart of groceries don’t say you’re running to the car and will be right back.”

PG2441 says there’s nothing she can do here, so stop whining already:

“Customer: Why are your prices so high? I’ve never been so ripped off!’ Yes, it’s my fault. I, the minimum wage cashier, am the one solely in charge of deciding prices across the whole damn company. F*cking dumbasses.”

OmegaAsF*ck pleads with the world to stop this airport-bound madness:

“I was a flight attendant and I’ve had people say to me “you’re ruining MY VACATION” as if I personally made it snow seven feet in buffalo and we can’t take off. Yeah, lady, I give a sh*t…also we don’t get paid until the door is shut so it’s advantageous to get it shut and get the fuck going. I hate when were delayed and people will think we’re stalling to get paid more….nope, I wanna get to the destination quicker than you because this is my 6th flight of the day.

Don’t bother making this joke to JJw7ucm, for he’s heard it already:

“Oh, it didn’t scan? WELL THEN IT’S FREE HAAAR HAR HAR HARR HARRR HAAAR”

Kessa gives the No. 1 rule in dealing with a harried, overworked bartender:

“As a bartender: Do not step behind my f*cking bar.”

Spammylyn explains the easiest way to irritate the heck out of cleaning staff:

“When I’ve just cleaned the glass doors and instead of using the door handle they put their entire hand on the glass. It’s even better when they compliment me on how clean the doors look first.”

DemonIntellect‘s pet peeve comes with a scary story about the consequences of rudeness. This is doubly scary because no agent can reach through the phone to save a life:

“Chewing/Eating while on the phone. I had one customer call my job one day while eating crackers. I was hoping they would stop because it was driving me crazy. As soon as I was about to ask them to stop, they started to choke. They dropped the phone and all I could hear was coughing and gasps for like 20 seconds. They picked up the phone and told me they were fine. As soon as I knew they were okay, I put the caller on mute and laughed my ass off. They didn’t eat anything for the remainder of the call.”

(Via Reddit)

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