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Stephen Colbert Roasts Tucker Carlson For Stealing His Bit With The ‘Sex-Crazed’ Pandas Segment

On Monday evening, as every major news outlet clamored to cover breaking news of the FBI raiding the offices of Donald Trump’s personal attorney Michael Cohen — literally an unprecedented news story — over on Fox News, Tucker Carlson somehow had an even bigger scoop. Yes, “sex-crazed” pandas, as the ticker at the bottom of the screen literally read, which would wipe out the human race if they weren’t too busy, well, boinking.

Carlson’s segment took a lot of ridicule online, and likewise Stephen Colbert took a few moments to address “what historians will call the pandemonium.” Breaking down the very complicated and nuanced segment, the Late Show host observed: “Basically he said something really bad could happen, but it doesn’t.”

But what’s even worse, for anyone who experienced déjà vu while watching the clip, there’s a reason for that.

“This segment was insane,” Colbert declared. “How do I know? It is literally something I did on my old show The Colbert Report, when I played an insane person.” He then cut to a clip from 2011 in which he personally warned viewers of the Chinese using pandas for their cuteness to “infiltrate our hearts.” “Never forget that they are panda bears,” he added. “Godless killing machines.”

“Tucker Carlson stole my bit!” he quipped, closing out the segment. “And not just the panda thing, he also stole acting incredibly stupid while wearing an ill-fitting suit.”

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