Ted Cruz Has Found A Dumb New Thing To Get Mad About: The ‘Lesbian Toys’ In ‘Woke Disney’s ‘Lightyear’

Ted Cruz lives a charmed life. Instead of worrying about the stuff that keeps normal people up at night, like paying the bills or if his co-workers like him (he clearly doesn’t care about that), he frets about “Mickey and Pluto going at it” and “lesbian toys.”

Following his recent (and “pervy”) “Woke Disney” comments, the Texas senator took to his podcast to discuss the new Pixar movie, Lightyear. Cruz apparently hasn’t seen it, but he’s read the headlines about two female characters kissing, which is enough for him to turn into a live-action Helen Lovejoy. Thank god he didn’t do that impression.

“These lunatics, they want to see Mickey and Pluto going at it. And the press lost their mind, and then what do they do? Boom! The next movie they come out, Buzz Lightyear. What do we need? We need lesbian toys,” Cruz whined. “Now, never mind that the last time I checked, most toys are kinda androgynous. They are usually without genitalia…”

He continued:

“I gotta say, it’s a wild twist where Hollywood has been willing to grovel to China and let China censor its movies, to embrace anti-Americanism, to avoid any criticism of China because they want to get access to the Chinese movie market. But when it comes to their culture agenda, apparently now they’ve suddenly discovered, ‘Alright, give up the money because lesbian toys are more important.’ And I must say, it brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, to infinity and beyond!”


First off, and I realize this is besides the point, but the same-sex couple in Lightyear — Alisha and her wife — aren’t toys; that’s the entire point of the movie (someone hasn’t read Chris Evans’ tweet). Also, where was this “androgynous” concern over Woody and Bo Peep or Mr. Potato Head and Mrs. Potato Head? And don’t even get Ted started on Andy’s mother raising children without a strong father figure in the house.

Cruz needs to go back to doing what he does best: feuding with the stars of his favorite movies, who hate him.