This week was supposed to be a biggie: Donald Trump was supposed to return to the witness stand. The former president was scheduled to once again appear in court for one of his many cases, this one for the New York fraud trial. The last time he took the stand, it, uh, did not go well for him, despite what he said. But those hoping for a sequel are in for a rude awakening: On Sunday Trump revealed he was skipping his appearance, and in the most chill way possible. (Joke. It was an all-caps two-parter.)
“AS EVERYONE KNOWS, I HAVE VERY SUCCESSFULLY & CONCLUSIVELY TESTIFIED IN THE CORRUPT, BIDEN DIRECTED, NEW YORK STATE ATTORNEY GENERAL’S RIGGED TRIAL AGAINST ME,” Trump spewed. “WORLD RENOWNED EXPERTS, HIGHLY RESPECTED BANK & INSURANCE EXECUTIVES, REAL ESTATE PROFESSIONALS, AS WELL AS OTHERS, BOTH HONEST & CREDIBLE, HAVE STATED, CLEARLY & UNEQUIVOCALLY, THAT I, & MY VERY SUCCESSFUL COMPANY, DID NOTHING WRONG!”
Trump also cited the testimony of Eli Bartov, an accounting professor who also testified in the case — and was handsomely rewarded for it, too.
“A TOP PROFESSOR FROM NYU STERN SAID, ‘IF MR. TRUMP WERE MY STUDENT, HE WOULD GET AN ‘A’ ON HIS FINANCIAL STATEMENTS. IV’E NEVER SEEN A STATEMENT THAT PROVIDED SO MUCH DETAIL, & IS SO TRANSPARENT, AS THESE STATEMENTS,’” he wrote.
Trump concluded that based on his previous testimony, he has “NOTHING MORE TO SAY OTHER THAN THAT THIS IS A COMPLETE & TOTAL ELECTION INTERFERENCE (BIDEN CAMPAIGN!) WITCH HUNT.” He also claimed that the case will “”DO NOTHING BUT KEEP BUSINESSES OUT OF NEW YORK.”
As such, Trump said he “WILL NOT BE TESTIFYING ON MONDAY.”
So there. What will Trump with his newly freed-up time? Maybe he can devote that to planning that dictatorship he promised to enact last week.
(Via Mediaite)