Ever since the FBI searched the resort he now lives in, emerging with evidence that may land him in the slammer, Donald Trump’s rally speeches have gotten even longer and even scarier. On Saturday, the former president was in Youngstown, Ohio, attempting to beef up one of his so-so candidates, J.D. Vance. But his speech was mostly about him. It was dark, ominous, bleak, filled with barely-veiled threats against his many, many enemies. But Trump being Trump, he couldn’t help but do a few lighthearted detours, such as reminding everyone about the so-called pee tape.
Trump on the pee tape: "How would you like to be me and go home and explain that one to my wife. 'Darling it wasn't true, I swear it wasn't!'" pic.twitter.com/dBoGZn7G4c
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 18, 2022
At one point, Trump brought up the “phony Steele dossier,” referring to the largely discredited 2016 report that alleged, among other things, that Russia had some truly strange dirt on the then-presidential candidate. The most lurid involved a tape of Russian hookers bathing him in urine. There has never been any proof that such a horrific-sounding video exists, but Trump just keeps bringing it up anyway, including on Saturday.
“How would you like to be me and go home and explain that one to my wife? ‘Darling, it wasn’t true, I swear it wasn’t!'” he joked to the crowd. If people had forgotten about the pee tape — and it was five years and thousands of Trump scandals ago — he was there to remind you. “Remember that one? With the hookers from Russia.”
In the meantime, Trump is set to fly across the Atlantic to attend not the Queen’s funeral but a memorial service, where he’ll have to hobnob with all the other former presidents who don’t like him. While he’s doing that, the lawyers he’s actually paying this time will be a little busy trying to keep him out of jail.