We’ve all done it: You want to bring a bottle of something to a party, but have no idea what, and now you’re at the local liquor store, and everything feels so uninspired. You don’t want to drop $40 for something that looks like it might cost $10, but you don’t want to seem cheap, either. Ultimately, you get tired of pacing the aisles of the Wine And Liquor Emporium and grab something based on the cool label or the bottle.
We’ve done it, You’ve done it, and those Don Drapering folks down at the ad agencies bank on us doing it again. And, they’re probably right in assuming we will. Cool labels and eye-catching bottles will never cease to stop the wandering, panicked, booze shopper in their tracks. Allow us to ease your troubles during your next run to the liquor store. These 13 bottles are sure to help draw some attention your way at the next get-together. Exactly what type of attention entirely depends on the bottle you pick.
This Nepalese spirit is for the regal, pirate-y types. It was first placed on shelves in 1974 to mark the coronation of the king of Nepal (his royal highness Shri Birendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev). We dare you to walk into a party with this bottle and that information and proceed to act like Nepalese elite while swilling rum from the butt end of a glass kukri knife. Please, submit the story of the ensuing night to us. We’re all ears for that one.
Spiritually charged, multi-colored, glass head, endorsed by Dan Aykroyd? Yup. The celebrated vodka brand has released its newest offering in celebration of the Aurora Borealis and a few flavor modifications. Drink up and soak in the wonder.
[If you’re interested enough to watch a very odd, eight-minute long Dan Aykroyd-starring, conspiracy laden vodka commercial, here you go.]
This handblown crystal bottle offers nine-month aged Milagro Reposado in the outer chamber, while the inner chambers offer 100 percent Blue Agave Select Barrel Reserve Anejo — held in oak barrels for three years. The powerful desire to try both spirits supersedes the fact that the bottle looks less drinking-related and more like a choice smoking tool. Which leads us to…
Bong Vodka
Why beat around the bush? It’s surprising that someone hasn’t come up with this idea sooner. A quality vodka in a bottle that has some staying power. Those Dutch are so smart.
[Bong from bottle tutorial here.]
Macallan 64-Year In Lalique Cire Perdue
For the more refined, less “you can put your weed in there!” crowd, Macallan’s 64-year aged single malt whisky was placed inside this crystal decanter handcrafted by the masters at Lalique and put on auction. The whisky and decanter brought in an astounding $460,000 with all proceeds benefitting Charity: Water. But maybe you can get the next one for Susan’s housewarming next month.
While on the topic of extravagant price tags, check the Bombay Sapphire Revelation. The gin you know and love inside an extravagant diamond-shaped bottled and adorned with a variety of precious gems. The gin, which you can normally purchase for $35, paired with the bottle goes for somewhere in the ballpark of $2,000. Sales from the Revelation benefit The Smile Train, which provides life-enhancing cleft surgery to children in developing nations.
Vodka Democracy
I hope someone got a promotion for this. Although Vodka Democracy is just a concept item at this point, the bomb-shaped bottles will one day be purchasable in a briefcase containing a set of shot glasses with “START” written across the bottom. According to the designers at STUDIOIN who are responsible for the idea:
“The main tool of kindness is a power, the main tool of peace agreement is a danger, and the main tool of democracy is a bomb.”
… They’re a Russian design firm, if that helps explain things.
Armand de Brignac Midas
It’s gaudy and obnoxious, but also delicious and world renowned. The company is also part-owned by Jay Z, and if Jigga is on board, you can bet that…
Adam Brandy
This VSOP Brandy retails for around $39.99 and is a remarkably smooth and pleasantly sweet 9-year-old Armenian brandy. It runs at 40 percent ABV to ensure smooth notes and a subtle finish without overpowering your palette with alcohol. A very good choice for any upcoming event.
What’s that?
Oh, Yes. Let me adjust my monocle and look closer. Indeed, you’re right — the bottle is shaped like a dong. So there’s that.
The bottle may not look like much, but the story is what grabs you. Although the company’s website has mysteriously vanished (spoooooky 404 error!) an excerpt from the bottle reads:
Generations ago, a family in Western Canada had a proud but small farm. They raised crops and livestock so plentifully, they outproduced all the other farms in the colony. Soon, people began to realize that the spring that watered their land was the sweetest and purest in the area and was thought to be the source of their success…
Tobias’s body was later discovered in the ice that froze the pond deep on that frigid winter night…
The idea being that the water is so pure, the fictional character, Tobias, was murdered to utilize it. His ghost now protects the waters that are now used to make the vodka and usher in a sweet buzz. Andy Harmon at Levenson & Hill, the marketing agency behind the ghostly tale, says:
“We believe that we have developed a narrative that will leave consumers haunted by a mystery that only Frozen Ghost Vodka can solve.”
Uh… you might be reaching on that one, buddy, but it’s a cool bottle.
Heston Farms Whisky
The small, single-family, West Virginia farm offers four varieties of moonshine in bottles that look like pigs standing on their heads. It’s simple, rootsy, and will get you into those tough to score “eat and drink local” conversations.
Samurai Vodka
Unfortunately, this bottle is another concept that has yet to become an actual product. It was originally posted on Behance back in 2009, and ultimately popularized by Reddit users around the world. According to a recent write up, “Samurai Vodka is fictitious rice vodka created by Schreiber to add context to his bottle design.” but the designer Arthur Schreiber (also responsible for Democracy Vodka) has openly stated that he is open to offers for the concept. Perhaps some of his ideas will find their way to shelves in the near future.
Want to see what the effect is meant to resemble? Watch how the two cut pieces of wood stack in this video.
