Worst: Why Are You Trying To Hurt Me, NXT
Here’s the going theory: Bull Dempsey is a big fat guy who mauls people and uses indie wrestling catchphrases. When the people at NXT put him together, they thought, “Brandon’s gonna LOVE him. He loves independent wrestling and hosses!” Then Bull showed up and was the perfect storm of awfulness … he moves like he’s still in his first month of wrestling school, he looks like Fat Neil from ‘Community,’ his singlet holds his stomach so it looks like Jesus cleaning his bowling ball, he’s directly lifting Eddie Kingston promos, etc. But NXT doesn’t see any of that … they see a big hoss with an old-timey name who does a bad version of Misawa’s finish and they’re all COME ON, BRANDON, WHAT’S THE PROBLEM.
So the next step in getting Bull over with me is to put him into situations where I HAVE to cheer for him. They start feuding him with Mojo Rawley. They put him in a tag team with Mojo and have him jump Mojo’s shit at the first opportunity. Now he’s getting an extended squash of Angelo Dawkins, who is has once again gone full Michael Bay Ninja Turtle with his “we’re assuming this is what a Childish Gambino is” gimmick. So yeah, out of the two guys in the ring I like Bull Dempsey more. But I see what you’re doing, NXT, and I won’t let you lower my expectations.
Next week, Bull enters to ‘Wrecking Ball’ by Miley Cyrus and formally retires Corey Graves. Watch.
Best: BE HAIR OR BE SQUARE
1. I missed you, “Devin Taylor gets her mind blown” gag.
2. Now that Wesley Blake has given up real, live cowboydom to wear Benoit tights and slap his thigh when he kicks, Marcus Louis is my favorite under-the-radar NXT performer. He’s so WEIRD. Plus, he looks like somebody tried to stuff Andre the Giant into Prince Devitt’s body.
Best: Sami Zayn and Adrian Neville vs. TyTy
This entire match was good, but I want to point out one really beautifully-executed thing: the finish of the match is supposed to be Adrian Neville getting accidentally brained with a Helluva Kick, Sami being upset about it and the heels getting an opportunistic victory. Normally, Neville would get hit with a finish and just lie there forever because he was supposed to. I’m sure you’ve seen guys get hit with a DDT or a Rock Bottom or something and just lie in the corner of the ring for 15 minutes while the other people finish the match. Anyway, they EARN IT here, because HOLY CRAP did Sami Zayn obliterate Neville with that kick. If I’d gotten hit with that kick I’d still be out. I don’t care if they taped it a month ago.
I’m also really intrigued with where they’re going with Zayn heading into Takeover. Ugh, I can’t call it “Takeover,” it feels like I’m referencing the wrong thing. Takeoverer. I’m also really intrigued with where they’re going with Zayn heading into Takeoverer. He’s been the most sincere, reasonable babyface since debuting, and now he’s right on the edge of being SICK TO F*CK of never winning the big one. The NXT Championship is his One Ring, and it’s turning him into Gollum. He obviously didn’t hit a Helluva Kick on Neville on purpose, but after the post-match stuff … damn, maybe he did. If Kevin Steen shows up and helps him win the championship I will lose my mind.
I’m glad to have you back in my life, NXT.
Supplementary Best: Rich Brennan Calling The Michinoku Driver
Get on the Rich Brennan bandwagon, people.