The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 8/25/14: A Womb Of One’s Own

By: 08.26.14

Worst: Natalya

Natalya got a couple of wins over the Divas Champion last week when AJ Lee interrupted their matches. She got a distraction rollup on Raw, and caught Paige with a Sharpshooter after she was led up the ramp by AJ and almost counted out. So on Raw this week she gets another match. Paige doesn’t get distracted by anybody, so she handily beats Natalya cleanly with her finish in the middle of the ring.

Instead of that being that, Natalya waits for the POST-MATCH distraction, stalks Paige from behind and hits her when she turns around. The announce team doesn’t seem to think this is heelish at all, going “SHADES OF HER DADDY” and then instantly forgetting it when Natalya leaves the ring. Why did this happen? Did Natalya save face or something? Get her heat back? She could only win by cheating, and now she’s doing sneak attacks because she’s mad about losing fairly. She’s the worst person out of the three, right?

Paige AJ hug


Best: We’re In A Frienelationship!

I know this is gonna sound like I’m typing with my penis, but I hope the payoff to the Paige/AJ story is that they ARE both being sincere, and that they DO both love each other. I want them to just be in a monogamous homosexual relationship where they’re both super crazy and can’t stop dropping Divas on their heads. It’s really the only unconventional way to end the story. Also in this fan fiction, Eva Marie is a total homophobe and commands an army of women so unathletic they can’t walk in a straight line without blowing out a knee.

Regardless, I think it’s very telling that the WWE Universe can watch two beautiful women hug and kiss and the only thing they can think to say is “CM Punk.”

Best: The Eulogy For Dean Ambrose

If I’d been watching this live I would’ve typed “take it home, seth” at least twice, but I sorta loved the Dean Ambrose eulogy. There are few things that get legitimate heel heat from me like Seth Rollins reminding me how he destroyed The Shield. I want to see him punched in the face for it, and I’m the guy who homers for the heels and thinks people like Damien Sandow have great points.

I was also a big fan of Roman Reigns here. Sure, he got his Unstoppable WWE Babyface moment a little later, but him standing up for Dean Ambrose and/or the idea of The Shield — because he’s the one who still apes their entrance theme and wrestling gear — made me smile. The way the fight was staged made a lot of sense, too. Kane tried to stop him as soon as he was over the barricade and had a little success, but Roman was able to reverse him and send him into the steps. That bought him enough time to go after Rollins. It wasn’t a “cowardly heel” thing either … Rollins tried to fight him off as he entered the ring, but Roman tossed him into a bunch of stuff and stunned him enough to set up for a spear. THAT gave Kane enough time to recover, and he selected “flee” and dragged Rollins to safety by the ankle.

There’s a huge difference between that, and a guy just popping up from a beating and doing whatever he wants to however many people he wants.

Worst: Seth’s Fake Laugh

“Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha HA! HA ha!”

The only thing that made me want to punch him more than sad Shield memories is his Scott Evil laugh.

Best: Evil Dusts

Goldust and Stardust turning heel on the Usos doesn’t make a ton of sense, especially after that month-or-whatever of talk about cosmic keys, but I’m Besting it anyway because the Rhodes Brothers are DOING SOMETHING and showing an edge. It’s been a long time since they felt like actual threats to anything, and frankly if you aren’t ever going to play them against the Authority again, the creepy painted science-fiction guys should probably be heels.

Plus, the Usos need someone besides the Wyatt Family to wrestle. We’ve established that they’re never going to have personalities and never get over for anything other than jumping and kicking and screaming, so giving them adversaries that are weird and good at anchoring/delivering solid wrestling matches isn’t a terrible idea. So far the matches between the teams haven’t been spectacular, but they haven’t had any reason to be. Hell, I just want the Rhodeses to win the tag team championships and turn them gold. If we can get a new WWE Championship, we can ditch the Spartan pennies.

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