Worst: More Babyface Sneak Attacks
I love Bo, but the issue with Jack Swagger has abandoned pretty much everything I like about him. Now he’s just winning matches or showing up and saying “I don’t like this person, something something BO-LIEVE,” which is the antithesis of the Bo character’s dorky creativity. Bo is wonderfully funny and his catchphrase is one of the most utilitarian WWE has, but if you’re just gonna have him say JACK SWAGGER IS DISAPPOINTING, SUCK IT, there’s nothing to it.
On top of that, you’ve got Bo running down Swagger again and Swagger showing up to (you guessed it) attack him from behind. Why didn’t Swagger attack him when Bo showed up at the top of the ramp? Why didn’t he attack him when he showed up backstage? Why’d he wait until he had his back turned and was talking to somebody else? Maybe Jack Swagger IS a huge disappointment. Don’t be Natalya, Jack.
Best: The Miz’s Stunt Double
The Miz is another example of a great gimmick they’ve found with absolutely no intention of playing with. He’s trying SO HARD, you guys, and it feels like nobody’s watching. He’s got a movie trailer opening to his TitanTron video. He’s wearing a Snuggie and sunglasses. He’s doing things like putting his “stunt double” into a match he doesn’t want to wrestle. It’s fantastic, and the only payoff ever seems to be “The Miz sucks.” At what point is effort and excellence in a role rewarded?
On that note, I guess it’s perfect that Damien Sandow is Miz’s stunt double. Remember when Damien Sandow won the Money in the Bank briefcase and was challenging John Cena for the championship? Remember when Miz was WWE Champion and main-eventing WrestleMania? Remember when Sandow and The Miz were in tag teams with athletic handsome guys who were great at backflipping but couldn’t break through and get anywhere? Has Sandow always been Miz’s stunt double?
Worst: The Actual Match
If Dolph Ziggler wrestles more than three minutes do they have to pay him extra?
Worst: This Week In ‘Roman Reigns Can’t Lose’
Here’s how important the handicap match was: it’s over 15 seconds into the WWE Fan Nation video.
Last week’s Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose match was heated and had a memorable finish, with Ambrose getting curbstomped through a stack of cinderblocks. Before that’s even been a thing long enough to substantiate a memory, Roman Reigns is here to be all SETH ROLLINS TRIED TO CURBSTOMP ME THROUGH CINDERBLOCKS BUT I STOPPED HIM AND ALSO TRIED TO HURT HIM WITH THE CINDERBLOCKS AND KANE WAS THERE AND I SUPERMAN PUNCHED HIM, BELIEVE THAAAAAT~!
It’s fine that Roman’s as tough as he is — Roman IS tough, after all — but it’s already getting tiring to see him always come out on top of a situation. It’s part of what makes Cena so unbearable; if you eliminate the chance of vulnerability, you can never organically believe that the guy’s in trouble, and any moments of vulnerability AFTER that seem like WWE-made decisions. If Cena loses to Brock like he did at SummerSlam, we aren’t saying “wow, Brock kicked Cena’s ass,” we’re wondering why Cena chose to do that and what it means for upcoming matches. Seeing wrestling finishes as decisions instead of happenings never leaves you feeling happy.
Besides, if you have Rollins eliminate Ambrose and instantly start getting his ass kicked by somebody else, the idea of Ambrose coming back unexpectedly and kicking Rollins’ ass loses its power. The answer becomes, “if Ambrose wants Rollins to get his ass kicked, he should stop trying so hard and ask his tougher, cooler, better friend to do it.”
Worst: Hey, Remember Me?
The John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt situation is starting to feel like Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes. If you’ll remember, Orton used to beat up Cody all the time. He started a faction called “Legacy” that was supposed to be a glorification of third-generation stars, but ended with Orton beating them all up. After the faction ended, Cody went off on his own and would stop back by every two or three months for a decisive loss to Orton. It got ridiculous.
Bray Wyatt got put into a WrestleMania program with Cena that was supposed to be a one-month thing that made Wyatt into a name. Instead, Cena just easily beat him, easily beat him in a Last Man Standing match and easily beat him 3-on-1 in a cage match that he technically “lost” because a MYSTERIOUS SINGING CHILD appeared from out of nowhere and distracted John long enough for Bray to capitalize. So Bray moves on to a feud with Chris Jericho that goes sorta well and leads to him winning a match cleanly at SummerSlam, so what’s his next stop? Losing another match to John Cena. Wait, sorry, losing TWO MATCHES IN ONE NIGHT to John Cena. Well done, everybody.
If Bray goes into Survivor Series with something cool, there is an 80% chance that he’ll lose another match to Cena between Survivor Series and the Royal Rumble. Because Cody Rhodes will forever be Randy Orton’s Young Boy, and Cody was Bray’s Pro on NXT, so you learn what you learn.