Worst: I Don’t Think This Is How It Works
Goldust and Aksana hang out backstage and discuss how great it’s going to be to get married, because it’ll erase all of her immigration problems. I, uh, don’t think you’re supposed to talk about how fake your marriage is gonna be in front of the TV cameras, guys.
Best: Five Minutes Of Chubby Checker And Absolutely Nothing Else
The final competition of the episode is the limbo competition, which judges the women based on their ability to lean backwards and walk forwards at the same time. They should’ve had Trish Stratus be a pro, do THAT MATRIX MOVE in the middle of the ring and just have the referees walk the bar over her.
Anyway, it’s a damn limbo contest. You can’t really analyze it. The refs decide who is and isn’t eliminated seemingly at random, with no consistency or point. Naomi wins without having to go a final time because the other women have been eliminated, which does not seem super fair, but whatever. It’s the goddamn limbo. It’s five minutes of Chubby Checker’s ‘Limbo Rock’ while Michael Cole goes GAWD, GAWD.
They should’ve ditched the NXT concept at this point and just turned the show into a rollerskating rink. Punching arcade game, dancing, the Limbo Rock. Hell, they even had “couples skate” if you include the mixed tag matches. Just put everyone in rollerskates and call it a day. Hornswoggle got pushed around in a wagon, does that count as a big rollerskate?
Best: The Bella Twins Vs. Kelly Kelly And Wait Why Did I Give This A Best
… because two enjoyable things happen during the match.
1. Kelly Kelly NEVER TAGS IN. Not once. She just stands on the apron and looks upset. I don’t know if Kelly wrestled Abdullah The Butcher at some point before this and wasn’t medically cleared to compete, but Naomi takes a match-long beating and gets pinned. K-Squared gets knocked off the ring once. Note: Naomi gets pinned when she gets tripped up running the ropes. That PINS HER. It might be the least physically painful finish ever. I think a small package hurts you more. Seriously, she just runs the ropes, Nikki trips her up and that causes her to lie there like she’s been F-5’d for two minutes.
2. FORCED TWIN MAGIC. The Bella Twins were feuding at this point, I guess, so Nikki tosses Brie out of the ring and steals the pin. It’s … kinda great. I want WWE Network to devote an hourlong special to the physics and logistics of Twin Magic. Establish it as some kind of illusion spell instead of “referee can’t tell two women apart, even if one looks completely different and has different colored hair.”