Here are your quick and dirty, editorial-free WWE Raw results for November 17, 2014. The show featured an unexpected title change, a contract signing main-event and a guest appearance by Internet meme Grumpy Cat.
Be back here tomorrow for the Best and Worst of WWE Raw column.
WWE Raw results:
– The show opened with a long conversation between The Authority and Ryback. He said he’s a member of “Team Ryback.”
1. Intercontinental Championship match: Luke Harper defeated Dolph Ziggler (c) to become the new Intercontinental Champion. The Authority attacked Ziggler before the bell, injuring him. Harper pinned Ziggler after a discus clothesline. After the match, Seth Rollins gave Ziggler a Curb Stomp.
– The Miz and Damien Mizdow sucked up to Grumpy Cat to get movie roles. No Aubrey Plaza voice-over, sadly.
2. Tyson Kidd defeated Adam Rose. Kidd won by submission with a Sharpshooter. Rose asked for help from The Bunny, but it was distracted by Natalya. After the match Rose tried to attack The Bunny, and it tried to hump him. Not a joke, I swear to God.
– Bray Wyatt cut another in-ring promo about Dean Ambrose. Ambrose responded via the TitanTron, and revealed that he’d video taped his promo earlier in the day. Ambrose was actually in the crowd, and briefly got the jump on Wyatt with an attack.
3. Ryback defeated Cesaro. Ryback won a competitive match with Shell Shocked.
4. Rusev defeated Heath Slater. Before the match, Lana promised to show the audience her “topless photo.” It was that picture of Vladimir Putin on a horse. Heath Slater interrupted dressed like Uncle Sam, and was quickly beaten with The Accolade.
– Stephanie McMahon tried to get Big Show to abandon Team Cena. He refused. Sheamus interrupted, so Stephanie put them into a match with one another, claiming the winner would get a title match.
5. Big Show vs. Sheamus was a No Contest. Rusev and Mark Henry attacked during the match. Sheamus was put through the announce table with a World’s Strongest Slam.
6. Brie Bella defeated Nikki Bella. Brie was dressed up as AJ, per Nikki’s orders. Actual AJ was on commentary. AJ distracted Nikki, allowing Brie-AJ to roll her up for the win. After the match, AJ attacked both Bellas.
7. Goldust, Stardust, The Miz and Damien Mizdow defeated Los Matadores and The Usos. Stardust won the match for his team with Dark Matter.
– The Authority held a contract signing for the main-event of Survivor Series. Cena showed up by himself, but confidently insulted Team Authority. Cena was eventually backed up by Dolph Ziggler, Big Show and (in a surprise moment) Erick Rowan. Cesaro teased joining Team Cena, but sided with The Authority. That brought out Ryback as the final member of Team Cena, and a brawl ensued. Cena put Triple H through a table to end the show.
– Next week, Larry the Cable Guy guest stars on Raw. Git r dun.
