Here’s How WWE Can Prevent So Many Wrestler Injuries

John Cena. Randy Orton. Cesaro. Tyson Kidd. Seth Rollins. A Partridge. A Pear Tree.

All of these stars are on the shelf with serious injuries that’ll have them out for a good chunk of 2016. WWE is in crisis mode and the injuries are piling up to the point where something has to be done. It’s gotten beyond the point of being a fluke. Something is happening, and WWE needs to figure out how to keep their stars healthier to curb this epidemic*. WWE is a publicly traded company with a spotlight on how they treat their talent so people can’t work injured like they could a decade ago. So, there has to be something the company can do to make sure half their roster isn’t hanging out in Birmingham.

Here are some suggestions from someone with no medical background or understanding of how the human body works.

*Maybe it’s just further proof that Jerry Jones is a curse.

An Offseason

This is the most obvious way that WWE could prevent injuries. I know, I know, John Cena got injured immediately after coming from a break. But still, revolving windows of time off for wrestlers to recover is the best way to have them healthy and rejuvenated. One idea I’ve been thinking about was having it where any person who loses a title has to take three months off. Make that part of the stipulation to them holding the belt. So, them losing is also a “loser leaves town” match to an extent. Imagine the stakes of a title match during the Royal Rumble and if the champ loses he’d miss WrestleMania. Then when the guy comes back, he has built-in feuds with the people who took him out. I don’t know, but there’s a way to have revolving breaks where the company doesn’t miss a beat. Hell, with all the injuries, they’ve basically been doing that anyway.

I think they’d rather go three months without Cena than the six months they’ll go without him now.

A “Bump” Count

Baseball has a pitch count that guys have to adhere to. Think about what the Nationals did with Strasberg where he was on a strict pitch count and was shut down afterwards. Wrestlers could benefit from being on a minutes count or something that would put specific limits on how much damage they can take in a week or a month. Say Dean Ambrose puts in 30 combined minutes on RAW and Smackdown!, then he has to have eight-minute matches on house shows. Something that doesn’t overwork him to the point he’s clocking in crazy hours every week. If you look at the Attitude Era, wrestlers were on the road 300 days a year, but they weren’t taking nearly as many bumps as guys in 2016 are. A 15-minute match on TV in 1998 was a rare sight for most wrestlers, but it’s happening every day for a lot of the guys on the road now. A minutes or “bump count” could save a few aches down the road.

Athos

The Golden State Warriors is the healthiest team in the NBA and has been for the past two years. One of the reasons they (and the Spurs) have stayed healthy has been by using this equipment called Athos. The startup business has come up with these sensors that athletes place on their bodies during practices, and it essentially measures the wear and tear athletes are feeling over the course of a season. Via BizJournals:

The workout clothes come in three pieces: the top, the pants and a plastic core. The top has 16 sets of sensors in it: one for heart rate, one for breath, and seven pairs for each major muscle group. The pants have 12 clusters of sensors for six major muscle groups.

…How is Athos different from the Fitbits and Fuelbands in the world? There are two key aspects: One is that Athos measures muscle exertion and activity combinations rather than steps taken, speed and pulse alone.

Essentially, the data can track if someone is laboring or on the verge of an injury. Of course, the wearable device covers a lot of someone’s body, so it’d be clunky for them to wear it to the ring, but something can be done about that. Maybe let the wrestlers wear the devices to bump around before shows or something. Who knows, but this tech is the cutting edge of athlete health and can prove invaluable.

A List Of Banned Moves For House Shows

As you probably remember, Seth Rollins destroyed his knee by performing a sunset flip power bomb on Kane off the top rope onto a table. John Cena got knocked out against Kevin Owens while doing his standing sunset flip power bomb. Both of these things happened at house shows. That’s absurd.

There was a time when house shows were just teasers for bigger, better events. House shows aren’t for wrestling purists. They’re for kids and parents who are willing to spend $40 on a toddler shirt instead of just going to the WWE Shop like modern humans. So, house show match quality isn’t really that big of a deal unless we’re talking MSG shows or something like that. So, why are guys performing high risk moves at house shows? These events should be where guys hit the basics and move on. No tables. No high impact moves besides finishers. Pull back the explosiveness on house shows and we may see some long-term health improve.

Better Storytelling

Stone Cold Steve Austin was on TV for months with a broken neck and was never more popular. He continued showing up on RAW and carrying shows because there was great material for him. He was constantly in storylines for most of his biggest run without having to take many bumps. WWE used to be so good at hiding guys’ injuries by giving them things to do to carry shows without wrestling. Now, that’s been replaced by “go have a four-star match to cover a couple of commercial breaks.” If there are stories that can keep guys out of the ring, but taking up time, they should be utilized. Just look at Triple H; he’s compelling and never wrestles. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we may need more Triple H guys on the show.

Change The Rings

Maybe the problem lies with the rings. WWE might benefit from testing out new material in the Performance Center to see about rings that are more forgiving. From what I understand, rings are more bouncy than they were in the ’90s, so maybe something that’s shock absorbent could help. I’m not a physics guy or astronaut or wizard or whoever would be smart enough to make specific suggestions or anything. But the tech around the ring’s makeup might encourage safer bumps and reduce the chance of freak accidents.

Give Them HGH

Yeah, I said it. WWE got rid of steroids because guys were dropping dead and that’s bad PR and bad for business. But those guys were taking all sorts of crazy sh*t that was turning their insides into sand. Well, technology has improved to the point that PEDs aren’t deadly like they once were. Let the guys use some. Hell, if John Cena could be back for ‘Mania if he sprayed deer antler spray on his face like one of the guys from Mad Max, then let him. Wrestling isn’t real competition and he doesn’t get a competitive edge over someone for using HGH. Just give it to them in small doses and for injuries to recover quicker. We shouldn’t’ suffer because WWE feels guilty for killing a generation of athletes, amirite? I’m right.

Now, whose ass do I gotta stick this needle in to prove my point?

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