Previously on the vintage Best and Worst of WWF Monday Night Raw: The storied build to BURIED ALIVE that you and your friends all still talk about in hushed, reverent tones concluded with Jake The Snake faking alcoholism to cover for actual alcoholism, Ahmed Johnson wearing a jacket that said AHMED JOHNSON and Sunny outing Kevin Kelly as a DNB. Also on the show, Undertaker and Mankind dug graves in undisclosed locations and I guess just left them empty, because they couldn’t use them in the buried alive match.
Before We Begin
Here’s what you need to know about In Your House: Buried Alive, the show that explains what happens when you bury someone inside instead of in a graveyard.
Undertaker Was Buried Alive Due To Interference From The Corniest Wrestler Ever
The Undertaker wrestled Mankind in a “buried alive” match. To win, you have to literally bury your opponent in a grave (helpfully provided by the production team) while they’re alive. Then your opponent is dead, and they remain buried in this enormous pile of dirt inside whatever arena it happened, and local hockey teams or whatever have to work around it.
Things are going well for Taker until he’s attacked from behind by THE EXECUTIONER, the wrestler 80% of regular people would create if you handed them a pencil and a sheet of paper and said, “make up a wrestler.” It’s Freebird Terry Gordy in a costume from Party City, carrying a plastic ax (also from Party City, assumedly purchased at the same time). He might as well be “The Masked Marvel” or “The Masked Menace” or some other fictional sitcom wrestler. He attacks Taker from behind with a shovel and buries him alive, covering him with dirt via a “squat and push dirt backwards through the five-hole” technique that makes him look like a weird, giant dog. It’s so ineffective that the other heels on the roster have to wander out and help him shovel dirt.
Also, Undertaker Is The Shredder
When the match is over and Undertaker is buried, Mankind punctuates it by stabbing his shovel into the dirt pile. Lightning strikes it, and the Undertaker’s hand pushes up out of the grave like he’s M. Bison in the Street Fighter movie post-credits scene. Yes, there’s a post-credits scene in Street Fighter. Yes, I’m the only person who got far enough into the movie to see it.
Aside from Terry Gordy showing up as a Monty Python extra and Undertaker showing he’s not dead during a match that shouldn’t actually kill him, nothing happened on this show. It’s a “one match show,” and not in the good way. The Smoking Gunns breakup is taking an entire month, Ahmed Johnson beat up Faarooq as a “receipt” for exploding his kidney and Jim Ross is promising Bret Hart for Raw while everyone gaslights him and makes him seem crazy.
The good news is that the following Raw marks a turning point in the show, so let’s dig ourselves out of this hole and check it out. Here’s the Best and Worst of WWF Monday Night Raw for October 21, 1996.