Hey, Blue Team.
What a crazy week. Prince is dead, Chyna’s dead, Joe won the belt from Balor at a house show. Everything’s gone crazy. It’s weeks like this that I can really appreciate the steadiness and reliability of your standard regular mediocre SmackDown. RAW was pretty SmackDownish this week. I mean, two eight-person tag team matches? I thought RAW could end up out-SmackDowning SmackDown, but then SmackDown came around and out-SmackDowned RAW. It’s not a bad show this week; there’s some really good stuff, especially from AJ Styles and The Miz, both on the mics and on the mat. It’s just, y’know, SmackDown.
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And now without further ado, here is The Best and Worst of SmackDown for April 21, 2016.
Best: It’s The Pictures That Got Small
SmackDown once again begins with Miz TV, and Maryse is once again here to welcome us and introduce The Miz. He catches us up on the arrival of Anderson and Gallows, and the mystery of if they are working for AJ Styles or not. The Miz is going to get to the bottom of it, and to do that, he brings out this week’s Miz TV guest — AJ Styles — for interrogation. Miz gives the audience a quick New Japan history lesson, and then gets right down to brass tacks, asking AJ if he had Anderson and Gallows attack Roman Reigns. AJ says he had nothing to do with it, but The Miz ain’t buying it so he hits him with a follow-up question, asking AJ if he ever told them not to attack Roman Reigns. AJ admits that he didn’t, and The Miz now has him right where he wants him. The Miz launches into a passionate conspiracy theory straight out of his audition to play Johnnie Cochran on The People vs. OJ Simpson. Miz explains that by not telling Anderson and Gallows to not attack Roman Reigns, he gave them permission to attack Roman Reigns. He wraps up his closing argument by telling AJ that his inaction speaks louder than words. AJ says he doesn’t need any help beating Roman Reigns and he’ll prove that at Payback. The Miz isn’t buying it and unloads on AJ in defense of Reigns. Miz jumps up out of his director’s chair and starts acting out A Few Good Men, until Maryse interrupts, acting as his acting coach and tells him to switch to doing Will Smith. The whole thing somehow breaks down into The Miz and Maryse quoting Star Wars and hardcore making out. It’s at this point that AJ Styles proves that he has transitioned completely into a WWE babyface because once The Miz gets his lips off Maryse and turns his attention back to AJ, Styles beats him up. If there’s one thing you can count on from a modern-era WWE babyface, it’s that they hate love and will act irrationally violent towards it happening around them.
The Miz is so good here. He does such a great job of diving into the current WWE main event storyline, but at the same time, getting himself heat and playing his character. That’s a tough balance to hit. That’s one reason why a lot of these WWE talk shows are so boring. A lot of time, the host can only do one of those things. Either they are completely focused on getting their character stuff in that they may as well just be out there alone without a guest, or they cut a quick promo on whoever they are feuding with up top then once they bring out their guest they just do a regular interview with them. At that point, it may as well be Byron Saxton in the ring interviewing someone instead of Jericho or whoever. This is something The Miz has been guilty of in the past as well. It’s taken a lot of work for him to get to this point. Juggling the character and the interview at the same time was one of the things that made Roddy so good at doing Piper’s Pit. I’m not saying The Miz is on Piper’s level, but damn this was really good. After the break, they announce The Miz will take on AJ Styles in a match later tonight.
Worst: Feed Me More… Of The Same Thing
Speaking of people who hate love, next up is the Big Guy in a rematch from the WrestleMania 32 YouTube Mountain Dew Kickstart Pre-Show. There are people who I can watch wrestle each other match after match for months, each match expanding on the last, telling different stories, heightening the drama and the danger. Kalisto vs. Ryback is not one of those matches. I loved their first match last year during the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Tournament. Their next match was good. Their WrestleMania match was fine. This was a good match. But Kalisto and Ryback have said all they can say in the ring with each other. They don’t need to face each other anymore. That’s not a knock on either man. I like both of these guys, there’s just nothing left for them to do together.
Ryback jumps Kalisto to start the match and that sets the tone of Ryback beating down Kalisto for most of it. After a commercial break and a lot more beating, Kalisto gets in some offense, but Ryback powers back. That is until Kalisto counters the Shell Shock into a DDT. Soon after, Ryback counters a Salida del Sol into the Shell Shock to get the pin and pick up the victory. Yes the outcome of the match is difference this time and told a slightly different story. So let’s quit while we’re ahead and wrap this Ryback/Kalisto thing up.
For me, the worst thing about Ryback beating Kalisto isn’t the champion losing in a non-title match. I’ve gotten so used to WWE doing that these last few years that I expect to see that ending more often on WWE TV than I expect to see Tyler Breeze. No, for me the worst part is this means we can expect more Ryback/Kalisto matches and these aren’t doing anything for either man at this point.
Best: Sure, Why Not?
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler is scheduled to be next, but the match never happens. Before Ziggler can get to the ring, Baron “I Can’t Believe He Still Has A First Name” Corbin attacks him from behind and lays Dolph out. He throws him into the steel steps and then hits him with End of Days on the outside. On Corbin’s way back up the ramp, Mauro Ranallo-lite comes out to ask him why he attacked Ziggler instead of having the match, and Baron simply replies, “Because I can.” Okay. I didn’t love that. But the beatdown was good, and Baron Corbin looks great. They’ve done a great job of breaking him up the the main roster so far, so I’ll let the lame “because I can” slide. They’ve also done a great job of keeping me interested in this feud. Unlike Ryback and Kalisto, I’m excited to see their next match.
Best: Sequels That Are Better Than The Original
By far the best on this week’s show is AJ Styles vs. The Miz. It’s the exact opposite of Ryback and Kalisto. AJ and The Miz have faced each other on Smackdown before, but this time, things have changed. The last time they met one-on-one, AJ was new to WWE. The Miz wasn’t ready for him. He didn’t know what to expect. Also, this is a new Miz. Maryse by his side, IC Title around his waist, a more confident and aggressive Miz shows through here and brings out more aggression in Styles in a match that is a lot more competitive than their last one.
There’s a lot of great stuff in this match. It starts with The Miz in control. A side headlock, a shoulder tackle, a body slam… but Miz takes too much time to gloat and Styles comes back with a fantastic head scissors, a slam, and a beautiful knee to Miz’s face while he’s down on the mat. AJ gets Miz in the Muta Lock, but Miz powers out of it. Miz heads outside for a break, but AJ rolls him back in and hits a pitch perfect dropkick. Styles goes to whip Miz into the ropes but Miz reverses and hits Styles with a high knee to regain control. Not long after, they both end up on the outside. AJ chases Miz around the ring and is about to catch up to him until Miz grabs Maryse and pulls her in front of him as a human shield. AJ goes around Maryse and is caught by Miz’ left hand. When we come back from a commercial, we’re back in the ring, and it’s back and forth for a while before they both go for flying crossbodies and collide in mid-air. Once they’re back up, we return to back and forth action with both men looking extremely evenly matched. Toward the end of the bout, The Miz locks in the Figure Four, but Styles reverses then breaks the hold and puts Miz in the Calf Crusher. Miz just barely makes it to the ropes to force the break. Miz manages to duck the Phenomenal Forearm and rolls out of the ring, at which point he decides that he’s had enough and is going to cut his losses and head for the showers before he gets hurt. He only makes it a few steps toward the ramp when the Things That Go In Guns Organization comes down the ramp to intimidate him back toward the ring. AJ takes advantage of the distraction and flies over the top rope, hitting a forearm to the outside onto The Miz. After throwing Miz back into the ring, he hits the Phenomenal Forearm for the win. Taking advantage of outside interference is the logical next step in his progression as a WWE babyface. This is once again a champion getting pinned in a non-title match, but I don’t mind it here. The Miz still looked good and storyline-wise it worked.
If you’re keeping track at home, that’s:
WWE champions losing non-title matches – 2
Tyler Breeze appearances – 0
Rich Brennan catches up with Anderson and Gallows backstage to ask if their interference in the last match confirms that they have an alliance with Styles. Gallows says no, AJ doesn’t need their help, they’re just looking to make an impact. They announce that they will be taking on The Usos this Monday on RAW in their WWE debut. The mystery deepens. I hope The Miz in still on the case, like a modern day Frank Drebin.
Best: Women’s Division Still Going Strong
Not much to say about Team B.A.D. vs. Natalya and Paige, except to point out that Paige looks a little more with it this week. Team B.A.D. works well in the ring as a tag team and Naomi seems to look better and more comfortable in the ring each time I see her. The match ends with Natalya putting Tamina in the sharp-shooter as Paige gets Naomi in the PTO. Natalya continues to look strong on her way to face Charlotte for the WWE Women’s Championship at Payback. Paige gets a win in front of her hometown crowd and everything this match sets out to accomplish gets accomplished. This is really starting to feel like a SmackDown. Two-on-two women’s tag team matches are a great idea for the division right now. The women’s division doesn’t have anywhere near the depth of the men’s division at this point, so tag matches like this help keep the one-on-one match ups fresh. Plus, I love me some tag team wrestling.
Best: Week 13
This week we enter the fourth month of the complicated will they/won’t they relationship between Goldust and R-Truth. As the weeks have progressed, my relationship with these segments has gotten more and more complicated as well. At first I hated them. Backstage segments with a lot of literal potty humor and what seemed like vague homophobia are not my thing. But ever since they flipped the script and had Goldust being the one refusing to tag with R-Truth, I have started to enjoy these segments. Now we are at the point where I look forward to these segments every week. I never thought we would get here, especially not in week thirteen.
If you didn’t see last week’s show, Golden Truth segments now come with a side of Fandango. I am super happy about that. This week, Fandango is wrestling R-Truth in a match with Goldust as the special guest referee. Goldust sells every little move that happens like they are the most devastating things he’s ever seen, from a shoulder tackle to a hip toss. The match quickly turns into a dance contest because really why shouldn’t it. All three men gyrate until Fandango gets a little too caught up in the rhythm of the music and R-Truth takes advantage, hitting the Lie Detector to get the win. This should totally be the way Fandango loses every match from now on. See you all in Week 14. I’m looking forward to it.
Best: Simon “Butterscotch” Gotch And Aiden “I Can’t Stop Hatin'” English
Between this and Miz TV, my two favorite segments of the show tonight were talkies. Enzo & Cass get about halfway through their schtick when the Vaudevillains interrupt. The final two teams in the tag team tournament go to battle in a war of words and it’s everything I wanted it to be. Everyone knows how good Enzo & Cass are on the stick, but the Vaudevillains can hang right there with them. The Vaudevillains may have even been funnier in this segment than Enzo & Big Cass. Both teams get in some good jabs, but my favorite is Aiden English telling the Realest Guys in the Room that once they beat them up at Payback, the Vaudevillains will ask in the proper form, “How are you doing?” Look, I’m not going to recap any further. They uploaded almost the whole segment to YouTube, so check it out above.
Worst: Guilt
Your main event tonight is the team of Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn and Dean Ambrose in a match that, if you couldn’t figure out was going to go down this week by the way last week’s show ended, then you don’t understand how wrestling works.
Earlier in the night, we got a fun promo from Ambrose and Zayn, where Sami talks about wanting to come up with a name for their tag team. But Dean keeps shooting his names down (Sambrose, Ska Madness). Dean says their team name is going to be the Rough Riders, and Sami says it doesn’t work because it’s too sexual. It’s fun stuff. You can tell they have fun together. Good chemistry between Zayn and Ambrose, and I’ve enjoyed this odd friendship Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho have formed over this last month. So why didn’t I love the match? And why do I feel so guilty for not loving it? It wasn’t bad. It was a completely fine match. I enjoyed it just fine. But I kept asking myself ‘why are you not loving this?’ It just felt a little flat. I know what these guys are capable of, and it’s a lot more than this. I’m giving myself a Worst for feeling guilty for not enjoying it. I feel guilty that for months and months I whined and moaned about wanting Owens and Zayn on the main roster and a higher spot on the card for Ambrose, and now that they’re all in the main event on SmackDown and I got that thing that I wanted, now I’m complaining that the matches are just “good.” Still, the match wasn’t great. I didn’t love it.
I feel like I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the weird ending of this match. Not just in the ring, but at the announce table as well. Owens has Ambrose on top of him for the pin, when Jericho slips in from the outside and pulls Ambrose off of him. Jericho, who’s now on his knees on the mat, gets hit with what is clearly a dropkick from Sami Zayn. Mauro clearly begins to announce it as a dropkick, but then stops and announces it as a Helluva Kick, which it definitely wasn’t. Byron Saxton tries to cover for him and says “I don’t know if that was a complete Helluva Kick,” which just makes it weirder. Why couldn’t he have just said, “No, I believe that was a dropkick?” While this is happening, nothing is happening in the ring. Ambrose is just kind of wandering around with a weird look on his face. He then climbs up to the top rope where Jericho pushes him off, causing him to kind of jump and land crotch-first on the top rope, and that allows Owens to get the pin. I dunno. It was weird.
After two great SmackDowns in a row, this one felt a little more ordinary. It was a good show, but compared to the last two weeks, it felt a little more SmackDown-y. Until next week, I’m Justin Donaldson and even though this is kind of embarrassing, I enjoyed the last two episodes of Edge and Christian’s show.
