John Cena stopped by The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to promote WWE’s upcoming SummerSlam event, talk penis muscles — the two things you think about most when you think, “John Cena” — and help Stephen stand up to “Butch,” the Late Show studio bully. Sadly it’s not Butch the bully from Cool Cat Saves The Kids. Cena needs to fight him.
The result is a training montage to get Colbert ready to stand up for himself, featuring a punching bag labeled “injustice,” a timely switch from ranch to light ranch, and the best solution I’ve ever seen to jumping rope. Although if this is what happens when Cena helps you train, it explains what happened with Zack Ryder.
The rest of the interview has a lot of good stuff in it as well, from a discussion of Cena’s diet — “if it breathes or it’s green, I eat it,” which I’m gonna take as Cena exclusively eating frogs and alligators — to Cena declaring SummerSlam WWE’s “season finale.” Isn’t that WrestleMania? Is WWE’s summer a mid-season replacement?
Also, welcome to a world where Stephen Colbert is talking about AJ Styles on late-night TV. Maybe that’s the next Jon Stewart vs. Seth Rollins feud?
