The wait is finally over! WWE’s Cruiserweight Classic is underway, and we’re here to break it down in typical Best and Worst fashion. After meeting eight of the 32 men who will battle to determine the world’s best cruiserweight, who impressed the WWE Universe and who failed to fly high?
Before we begin, remember that With Spandex is all over social media. Help us out and:
– Follow us on Twitter
– Like us on Facebook
– Go to your nearest PokéStop and yell at strangers about us
And now, the Best and Worst of the WWE Cruiserweight Classic, Week 1.
Best: Did You Hear I’m Getting A Spin-Off?
Let’s address the flashy, neon elephant in the room first. The visual presentation of the CWC looks nothing like what WWE has ever produced before. It’s a bold, graphic signature that tells you right off the bat that this isn’t NXT, and it certainly isn’t Raw or SmackDown. I figured we were in for a wild ride around the two-minute mark, when little purple and white Lego Ninjago dudes started powerbombing each other to claim supremacy for their countries of origin. As I’ve said when previewing the field for this event, it feels more like a real-world setup for a fighting game than anything else. Triple H finally went full Heihachi Mishima and put on his own King of Iron Fist tournament, thereby cementing the fact that 2016 is the wildest year in or out of pro wrestling.
There are all kinds of small touches that signify the CWC’s shift away from what we traditionally know as the WWE “style of programming.” The matches have 20-minute time limits, pre-match instructions and post-match decisions are rendered in the middle of the ring à la mixed martial arts, and huge emphasis is placed on the international aspect of the tournament. Speaking of which …
Best: Lucha Mainstream
As in “the opposite of Lucha Underground, but in name only.” Gran Metalik (also known as CMLL’s Máscara Dorada) takes on Chile’s Alejandro Saez, and I don’t think they could have picked a better match to put on first. No cruiserweight showcase is complete without lucha libre, and this was a wonderful exhibition. In case you’ve somehow missed him, Metalik is as legit as they come. At 27 years old, he might be the youngest guy who can say he has a full decade of wrestling experience. Saez, on the other hand, is a wonderfully weird anomaly. He’s a 6-foot-1 cruiserweight (and you can’t teach that), he comes from a country where there’s not much pro wrestling, and he’s a web designer by day. He doesn’t make sense, and it’s… kind of great?
Saez is horribly outmatched on paper, but I found myself wanting to see more of him as the match went on. That shooting star press from the apron is the most unexpected I’ve seen since Paul London flew in from the side of the screen like a Smash Bros. assist trophy. Plus, I choose to believe he wears green and white gear as a shout-out to his time in Pro Wrestling NOAH, so that earns him major points. All in all, this match had sort of a 1998 WCW feel to it. It’s not Mysterio/Guerrero in terms of quality, but I can see it having the same effects. Imagine some young Latin American pro wrestling fan watching the craziest tournament in years kick off with a Mexican and a Chilean diving onto each other like superheroes. That’s huge.
Two minor things:
1. Mauro Ranallo says he’s never seen a step-up tope con giro, which means he hasn’t been watching ACH matches for the past two years.
2. Alejandro Saez did a Spiral Tap on WWE television before AJ Styles ever had the chance.
Worst: The Devil’s In The Details
On a night of pretty spectacular wrestling (not just at Full Sail, but also in Boyle Heights), something had to be the underwhelming match of the night. I’m not going to go on the record and say that HoHo Lun and Ariya Daivari had a bad match, it just got outshined by a jam-packed lineup. Wednesday nights are the new hotness in wrestling, in case you hadn’t noticed.
I applaud Lun for his efforts here, but his performance makes me appreciate just what a complete system the WWE Performance Center is. There’s no part of a wrestling match that goes unexamined for an NXT recruit, and that includes facial expressions. A lot of people were talking about how incredibly expressive Alejandro Saez’s face was, but Lun was pretty much the opposite. His face would either go blank or show the completely wrong emotion for the given context. If Roman Reigns looks dumb kicking out of Brock Lesnar’s pin with a smile, then it’s pretty much not going to work for anyone on Earth, you know?
In all honesty, Daivari had the better match here. The whole “he’s Iranian so he knows The Iron Sheik” deal from Mauro Ranallo was actually distracting from some impressive offense and heel tactics. Watch him grind his forearm into Lun’s face during pin attempts, that’s the kind of subtle thing that sets veterans apart from the rest of the herd. As a businessman, Lun has a lot to be proud of as the man who basically gave Hong Kong its wrestling scene. But as for his match, I don’t know if he’s cut out for anything beyond the second round.
Also, I’m giving a supplemental Worst to the live audience, who came down with a bad case of Full Sail-itis and tried to retrofit about four pre-existing chants to HoHo Lun’s name.
Best: Taking The Ball And Running With It
Imagine you’re Cedric Alexander as 2015 winds down and becomes 2016. You’re a Ring of Honor mainstay, but you’re overshadowed at every turn by the likes of Jay Lethal, the Briscoe brothers, and The Young Bucks. You’d probably start getting discouraged if not for three major things in your favor: Amazing athleticism, a really cool moveset, and perhaps the most underrated manager in pro wrestling. Unfortunately you’d have to leave the manager behind once you spread your wings and leave ROH, but Alexander’s first match in a WWE ring lets me know that he’s going to be okay, regardless of where he ends up. He looked like a star here, bringing a great mix of high-flying and striking. I’m glad we got to see the Lumbar Check, even though it looks way more impressive when his opponent is approximately 95 pounds. Also, it kind of sounds like Andre 3000 is doing lead vocals on the theme that CFO$ cooked up for him. I’m on board.
Alexander’s constantly rising stock takes him into a match with Clement Petiot. You can tell he’s French because there wasn’t a single consistent pronunciation of his last name all night. At some point, everybody gave up and Daniel Bryan started referring to him as a sneeze preceded by the “P” sound. Is this the kind of thing La Resistance was so angry about? I’m starting to think they had a point. I don’t see why Petiot didn’t go with the name he uses on the European independent circuit, Tristan Archer. It’s a great name, especially if you’re a Richard Wagner fan who likes FX animated comedies.
Best: The Secret Is Out
I regret to inform you that July 12, 2016 was probably the cutoff date for getting any indie cred for being a Kota Ibushi fan. The world knows about him now, and he’s about to take off like a rocket. Ibushi has a mix of shoot-boxing prowess and aerial wizardry that should probably be impossible outside of the Create-A-Wrestler function, and it’s jaw-dropping to see in action. Just think: Shinsuke Nakamura, Kota Ibushi, and KENTA are all getting WWE paychecks now. There’s a strong possibility that we’re all hallucinating this together, gang.
Ibushi takes on Sean Maluta in this first-round match. Maluta is an astronomical underdog here, and I think he realized that going in. Watch when jumps early on that dive to the outside and ends up rotating 100% more than he originally planned. That’s the kind of nervousness you only get when you’re facing one of the best wrestlers in the world. But to his credit, Maluta recovers and delivers some pretty impressive shots to Ibushi. I found myself wishing the match would go longer, especially after that near-fall brought on by Maluta’s savate kick. That’s another thing about Ibushi… much like Dolph Ziggler, he sells everything to Maximum Effect, regardless of opponent. He would sell Peyton Royce’s heel kick like it was a shotgun blast, I guarantee it. He’s probably going to make it to the finals, and if he does, make sure you’re sitting down when he pulls out all the stops.
Worst: That’s Not How Samoa Works
Small gripe: Can we please stop pretending that every Samoan that sets foot in a WWE is part of a close-knit family? Yes, Maluta is the nephew of Afa, one of the Wild Samoans. But even so, we’re starting to get radically inconsistent with who is and who isn’t an Anoa’i. All I ask for is some transparency. Every time Michael Cole says that Roman Reigns and The Rock share a historic bloodline, I want Byron Saxton to jump in and say “Don’t forget Rosey and Manu, they were in there as well!” It’s such a uniquely Wrestling Thing, you know? I’m just saying, one of my best friends is Samoan, but she doesn’t go around saying she’s related to Umaga.
Best: This Second-Round Matchup
We go now to a live shot of my brain:
Have I already said that I love this tournament? Because I love this tournament.
