Best: Sheamus and Daniel Bryan Get a Make-Up Game
It wasn’t the most thrilling match, but Sheamus and Bryan got to do a quick version of what I will still assume was an epic 25 minute Wrestlemania Savage and Steamboat contest on Raw. They got to debut their new gear, which I am lame enough to want to devote like six “bests” to. Daniel Bryan got a fancy ring jacket, Sheamus got amazing red, white and blue United States Champion gear, and Daniel Bryan got to look like orange-ass Randy Orton standing next to Sheamus. So… let me see how I can phrase this.
Best: Everything about this, including clothes and Mistico
Worst: This was not the entire show
Worst: Hey Crowd, Do You Think These Strangers Are Tough Enough
WWE crowds are starting to do this weird thing where nobody new is accepted. It’s why guys like Alberto Del Rio or Daniel Bryan have trouble getting over despite being great at what they do. People have been beaten to death with the Ryan Braddocks and Braden Walkers and Vance Archers of the world that when a WWE ring fills up with 20 douchebags in dress shirts and lady jeans, they expect the worst. Compared to other times when this has happened, last night’s “introduce yourself in the most awful way you can think of” fest wasn’t the worst, but it certainly wasn’t something I wanted to spend ten minutes on.
I wonder what it’s like to get a developmental deal like this?
You: “Hi, I’m the new guy.”
WWE: “Are you a man or a woman?”
You: “Uh, a man. My name is Joe.”
WWE: “Your name is Starden Craid and you have known your whole life that you are beautiful, a future WWE champion and better than each and every one of these people. Here is your baggy dress shirt, go out there and awkwardly smirk.”
And then you just kinda have to wrestle Santino a lot and hope it works out. If you’re a woman, the last part reads “be a bitch, get implants, learn a DDT.” Your name is still Starden Craid.
Best: Yeah, But Austin
I turn into a total hypocrite talking about Steve Austin, because I hate Rocky singing the classics, but could watch Austin mudhole/Lou Thesz/elbow drop/stunner/alcoholism all day long. Seriously, I never get tired of it. They wouldn’t have started a “stun them all” chant if there wasn’t a chance Austin was going to stun them all. I enjoyed Austin vs. Riley more than I’ve enjoyed most matches on Raw this year.