Best: Cole vs. Lawler Actually Ends
Jerry Lawler beat the sh:t out of Michael Cole in two minutes, gave him the second rope fist drop (aka the piledriver’s well-meaning substitute teacher) and humiliated him in the middle of the ring with a bunch of guys Cole had wronged, because Cole is a sniveling chump who talks a big game but gets murdered when he goes too far.
“That should’ve happened at Wrestlemania,” says everyone who has ever watched wrestling. Lawler’s victory puts him 1-400 lifetime against Cole, who still has every right to say he won the series, and now he’s got extra ammo to say Lawler only beat him with help from Eve and Jim Ross and everybody else, and by SummerSlam I expect Lawler to be 1-470 or 80 against him. If Cole doesn’t show up on Raw tonight with amnesia, God is dead. And hey, check out that Jack Swagger turn from Raw paying dividends here. Lawler organized a daisy-chain of WWE finisher revenge and Swagger just hung around in the back with no desire to Doctor Bomb anybody.
I sent WWE an e-mail asking where he was, and they wrote me back with “who the f**k is jack swagger”
Best: Hey, Bret Hart! For Some Reason
Bret Hart showed up at Over the Limit to put Michael Cole in the sharpshooter, because Cole mentioning him positively on television once is worse than Jerry Lawler graphically insulting his family and dead parents for nearly a decade. Bret still gets a “best” because he’s Bret Hart, even if his Sharpshooter is like fourth best and he sorta looks like somebody’s concussed Greek grandma.
Worst: I Do Not Ever Want to See This Again
Let’s put this Lawler vs. Cole issue in a manilla file folder, place it deep into a file cabinet, dig an immense hole in our Earth and throw it into the planet’s f**king molten core.