The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 5/9

By: 05.10.11

Best: Rey Mysterio

I fell asleep as last night’s main event started (I can only watch Kane wrestle so much before I black out), but upon watching it this morning (via completely legal means) I was reminded of how Rey Mysterio might just be the best pro wrestler of all time. I’m enough of an esoteric nerd to know he can’t make wrestling real like Jumbo Tsuruta did, and he doesn’t perform on the “grandest stage” like Shawn Michaels did, and he couldn’t put on a four star match with a broom like pre-Undead Nightmare Ric Flair could. He sounds like he should be living in a pineapple under the sea when he speaks. But as far as “pro wrestling” is concerned, is there anybody else who can do what Mysterio does?

The guy has been a fantastic in-ring performer since he was 14-years old. He revolutionized the state of junior heavyweight wrestling in the United States, and (no matter what the Internet says) was a big reason why WCW and Nitro were so popular in the 90s. He showed up in WWE seemingly at the twilight of his career, then made an entirely NEW career for himself, adapting to WWE style better than the Bryan Danielsons of the world could ever hope to, getting swoll (twice, if you count that thing with the No Limit Soldiers) and winning a World Heavyweight Championship. He’s won nearly every accolade you can win in wrestling, and at 36 he’s still bumping like a freak and putting on exciting matches, all within the boundaries of the WWE’s Made Movie. He’s just great at pro wrestling, and outside of Jushin Thunder Liger I can’t think of a person who has done more in as many places for this long.

Also Best: Alberto Del Rio

But you already know that.

Worst: I Don’t Write Best and Worst of Smackdown, So Here’s Where I Complain About Christian

What am I supposed to say? The video package where they faded into Optimus Prime grey every time Christian was about to get pinned was great. I think if they’re going to smoosh the brands back together, putting the title on Orton for an iconic Cena vs. Orton title unification match at SummerSlam (or whenever) is the right move. I’m not the Internet, you know? I don’t really know how to say what I’m feeling. A wrestling title change hasn’t made me mad since Homicide took the ROH title off of American Dragon, and I find it hard after all the David Arquettes and hastily-pushed mid-carders with consequence-less title runs to get as upset as most. Do I think Christian shoud’ve lost on Smackdown? No, of course not. I don’t even think Edge should’ve helped him win it.

Chris Jericho tweeted about how people are overreacting, because this is probably just the first part of a bigger storyline. First of all, I’m disappointed in Chris Jericho for saying “storyline.” Second of all, yeah, I would believe this was the first chapter in a longer story if WWE Creative could write a pamphlet to completion without accidentally setting their offices on fire. So this is where I’m at: I’m willing to see where this goes, and hopefully Christian will get something positive out of it. At least now he can show up at indies when he’s 50 as “former World Heavyweight Champion Christian.” If he doesn’t? I’m going to write about how mad I am, a lot.

I’m willing to go to the papers if I have to.

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