The Best and Worst of WWE All-Star Raw 6/13

By: 06.14.11  •  25 Comments

Best: Shades of Rachel Summerlyn!

Sheamus gets a new submission hold, and I can’t believe it took them five years to give the shoot Irish guy a “cloverleaf”. Every major WWE superstar should have a signature submission to fall back on. It helps the drama of big matches, and doesn’t ask fans to buy a nearfall off a chinlock. Why do you think Shawn Michaels started doing that dumb Jamie Noble figure four out of nowhere?

Before you get mad at me for that Best title, okay, okay, shades of Dean Malenko. But if Sheamus starts doing Gory Bombs and giving piggyback rides to Jessica James I have the right to reinstate it.

Worst: Viewer’s Choice is Never the Viewer’s Choice

First of all, using “Power to the People” to promote your wrestling show is pretty terrible. I’m going to shoot Mike Quackenbush an e-mail and see if he’ll book a CHIKARA show called “Mother” and end it with a minute and a half of Eddie Kingston primal screaming.

Second of all, WWE is too many Taboo Tuesdays into its existence to convince me that I have any say in what happens on Raw. I guarantee you there will be two types of matches you can vote on. The first one is “WHO SHOULD JOHN CENA FACE IN THE MAIN EVENT” and they provide you two choices you’d never vote for (a. BIG ANDY b. MICHAEL TARVER, WHO WE JUST RELEASED) and the one they actually want (c. HANDICAPPED MATCH WITH MIZ AND SOMEBODY PROBABLY). The other is “HOW SHOULD WE TREAT OUR DIVAS” with two choices you’d never vote for (a. LIKE RESPECTED PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS b. LIKE HUMANS) and the one they want (c. SHOW YOUR UTERUS EVENING GOWN PUDDING BRAWL).

If I do get to make the matches, I’d like the main event to be Goldust versus somebody, please.

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