Worst: Big Show’s New Gear
Big Show finally got some new ring gear, for the first time since JeriShow went up in flames. Sadly, it’s a camouflage singlet and gloves to augment his adult Halloween costume wiener-beanie. I’ve seen every Big Show incarnation, from flowing locks and the cover story that he was the product of Andre The Giant’s own ejaculate, to a big guy to smoked and hung around with the nWo, to a business-casual Paul Wight tearing his way through a ring, to a short-haired, cargo-pants wearing world champ, to a bald goofball who did impressions, to a guy in a purple singlet who was part of a great tag team, to…this. This is easily the worst Big Show incarnation ever, and it’s stupid and I hate it. The dude is a million feet tall and weighs a f*cking ton and his finisher is a punch.
Best: This Chairs Match
Mark Henry and Big Show had a mini-chair riot, and that was cool. Then they wailed on each other with chairs and Big Show made like his hand was broke, and that was cool. They had a great big man match that made the most of the gimmick. I hated that the Big Show won the world title with a broken-handed punch, and was all set to give that a worst, BUT THEN
Best IN THE WORLD: Daniel Bryan, World Heavyweight Champion
Right around the time Daniel Bryan got signed by the WWE, I watched “The American Dragon” Bryan Danielson win the PWG world title from Chris Hero in a spectacular match. Because every match he has is spectacular. It’s the year 2011 and the world champions of WWE are Chick Magnet Punk and the American Dragon. It’s unbelievable. CM Punk’s awful first world title victory over a badly beaten Edge has prepared me for this title win. It doesn’t feel cheap after seeing how Punk ended up. It just makes me so, so, so happy for the guy. Way to go, you clam digger. Way to go.
Worst: Booker T Didn’t Ask For This Fight?
Josh Matthews interviews Booker in the back, and Booker is still determined to go through with his match against Cody Rhodes, despite already getting jumped twice tonight. Booker delivers a good, short promo, but ends with, “I didn’t ask for this fight, but I’m damn sure gonna finish it.” You didn’t ask for this fight? So why are you fighting? You’re an announcer, dude. You clearly had to sign a contract for the match, given what we know about how matches work based on what we’ve seen on television.
Best: Cody Rhodes Was Mildly Inconvenienced
More proof that Cody Rhodes is great: he jumps Booker T twice, then beats him in a match, then looks angry that Booker T managed to put up a fight. Cody Rhodes for president. Cody Rhodes for life.