WORST: FIRST TIME SEEING SANTINO WEARING HIS BELT WHEN WE SAW HIM 24 HOURS PRIOR TO THIS IN A HIGH STAKES WRESTLEMANIA MATCH
Yeah, I know he wasn’t defending his title last night but geez, he’s the United States Champion. Can’t he walk to the ring with his damn belt? It’s awful enough the belt wasn’t being defended but when he can’t even wear it you’re just draining the importance away.
This kind of thing breaks my brain. If you’re the champion of something (anything, really) you should have your medal/belt/certificate on you at all times, especially when you’re working in said field you are champion of.
- If you’re the Veggie Hot Dog Eating Champion you should always carry around a room temperature veggie dog and wag it with pride.
- If you’re the Air Sex Champion you should always be doing your moves when you walk into a room.
- If you’re the Air Guitar Champion you should find a new hobby.
BEST: I TOOK IMPROV CLASSES WITH DOLPH ZIGGLER’S LITTLE BROTHER IN CHICAGO AND WE’RE FACEBOOK FRIENDS
But if you’ve watched wrestling with me once in the past 12 months you already know that.
BEST: TRIPLE THREAT MATCHES WITH EXTRA OOMF
Dolph does situps on Santino’s body. Jack does pushups on Santino’s body. That’s enough for me because I’m a huge sucker for training montages and playing pranks on people while they are sleeping. This might be the closest I get to a combination of both while watching my favorite sport.
But for reals, I love these types of matches because it’s difficult to predict what’s going to happen and that means if you just don’t let yourself turn into Pro Fantasy Booker Person then you’ll be surprised. I could see Jack Swagger establishing himself as Dolph’s #2, I could see Dolph setting his sites on the world title so he’s cool with his pal having the US title and I could see Santino overcoming the odds and planting a seed for the Dolph/Swagger split. It’s easy, it’s entertaining.
BEST: DON’T STROKE DOLPH ZIGGLERS HAIR
Because you might get some weird ooze disease and also you might give your opponent the upper hand and then lose your shot at a secondary title that appears to important but yeah, it’s not really.
BEST: BRODUS CLAY HAS SOMETHING TO DO
I’m sure most children and Brandon Stroud were confused when Brodus Clay came out looking real tough and like he wanted a piece of someone who’s had more than five minutes of television time. What was he doing there? Why isn’t he dancing? Is he shedding his Saturday morning cartoon candy shell and actually being intimidating? This is exciting!