The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 7/16/12: Wedding Announcements And Dancing Fat Guys

By: 07.17.12  •  184 Comments

Hello everyone! Brandon was kind enough to give me a spot on the “Best and Worst” this week so I can tell you all about my visit to WWE Monday Night RAW live from Las Vegas, NV. I was also at a meet & greet, we will get to that shortly. Anyways, hope you like my report. If you don’t, it’s cool, I’ll just lock myself up in my room and cry uncontrollably for like a month straight, no big whoop. Also, feel free to follow me on twitter, @I_Am_Alo.

Pictured left to right: Myself, Eve Torres, Alicia Fox, my brother-in-law, Daniel (who admitted to me that he once peed in the Bellagio fountains

Best: Meet And Greet

I was hesitant to go at first because

1) I’ve never been to a meet and greet and

2) It was a meet and greet with Eve & Alicia Fox!

I could not for the life of me think of anything I could say to Alicia, “Hey Alicia, I really like that time you… … !?”. But I’m glad I did, there was a very short line, we were in and out in 30 minutes. Plus I would have never found out the following…

Super Best!: Eve Torres And Alex – A Love Story!

Here’s how the conversation went down, at least this is how I remember it.

Alex: Hello ladies! Pleasure to meet you. I’m glad you girls provide us with autograph papers for you to sign. Or else I would have had you sign my face instead.

Eve: No I wouldn’t want to write on your pretty face and mess it up.

Me: … … !!! AAH! GRZT! GAH! DERP! UHH! (Things got a little hazy after that).

I could not muster up any more words to say, I wanted to talk to her about working w/ Big Johnny & about “Sexy Librarian Eve”, but she left me speechless! Eve said I have a pretty face, she complemented me. I’ll be sure to invite you all to the wedding. I know I’m married, am I allowed to have multiple wives? I need to do some research.

Worst: KISS Mini Golf

Going back and forth between casinos, I passed by the brand new KISS Monster Mini Golf Amusement Center. WHAT!? Where the guys from KISS just sitting around with their guitars one day saying, “We’ve done all there is to do in music, what’s the next step? … … ALL TOGETHER: “MINIATURE GOLF!!! *Shred their guitars in agreement*.

Worst: The “P” Stands For P-nose Bleed.

The “P” must be silent. Sheesh-bo-beesh! We were up against the wall. I even saw JBL struggling to get to where we were sitting, that’s how high up we were. One bad step and I would surely die. Sadly, no one was going to see me or my sign on t.v. from up there. :(

Best: Drunk Guys & Children

The people around you can greatly influence your WWE live show experience. I had seated to my right, a guy that was pretty drunk, he told me that he had been drinking since before he had even entered the building. This is pretty normal here in Vegas. The drunk guy had the best “Cena Sucks” scream, it went like this, “CENA SUUUuuuuuUUuuuuUUUUUkkkkssss!”. This provoked the person seated to my left, a child who I guess was around 10 years old. This kid, Oh This Kid. When he sat next to me, there was a commercial for last year’s Wrestlemania on the titantron. Within the first 30 seconds he blurted out the following, “OH MY GOD WRESTLEMANIA! WE ORDERED THAT ON PPV, DID YOU!? I HATE ROCK! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE BEAT CENA! I THOUGHT HHH WAS GONNA BEAT UNDERTAKER! 18 SECONDS!” …it was gonna be a long night. The little kid would say, “LET’S GO CENA”, the drunk guy, “CENA SUUUuuuuuUUuuuuUUUUUkkkkssss”…*exhales slowly* I should have just called it a night after Eve confessed her undying love for me, SHUT UP, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED! Oh yeah, and wrestling occurred.

"Alright people listen up. The harder you push, the faster we will all get outta here."

Worst: Traffic!

Luckily, the lines were all indoors, so I didn’t have to wait to enter the arena outside in the Vegas heat. But man, it was sooooo crowded, I could tell who hadn’t bathed that day, oh the smells. When I was leaving the arena, I kept getting rear ended by an old lady in a wheel chair. Her chair kept hitting the back of my legs, OK GRANDMA! YOU”RE NOT GOING TO GET OUT FASTER IF YOU RUN ME OVER! Also, we had to wait in line as we exited the parking lot. Along the way we saw a guy talking to a cougar, (woman or feline, whichever’s funnier), it looked like the cougar wanted their night to continue, the guy looked hesitant to say the least. The things some people do to get the dolla dolla bill ya’ll.

So that’s my report, hope you enjoyed reading, and hope you join me next week at the WWE RAW Open Discussion Thread, (and the Pre-Game Extravaganza, sponsored by Rockstar Coconut Water Energies Drank). 3 hour RAWs, may God Have Mercy On Our Souls.

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