The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 12/17/12: Better Than A Genuine Rolox

By: 12.18.12  •  106 Comments

Best: Heath Slater’s Legends Tour Continues

Three major thoughts on this match:

1. Babyface Alberto Del Rio is the greatest thing. If The Miz is going to continue teaming with ADR and Ricardo, they should call the team “Miz Amigos.”

2. Pre-Raw 1000, Heath Slater got a regular gig on the show as the guy who lost to randomly appearing legends. It was mostly great, and the guy got more of a rub losing to Sid and Vader than he ever did losing handicap matches to Cena. I thought it was going to be the start of something for him, and then 3MB happened. It was great! Then Drew McIntyre broke his hand and had some sad family stuff, and the whole thing stalled … and at some point between then and now, WWE remembered they hate Drew McIntyre and took them off the show completely.

Now they’re back, and after losing to the Brooklyn Brawler at TLC and Tommy Dreamer on Raw, I’m hoping we can have a sorta re-do of Slater’s Raw 1000 run, only in team form. I don’t mind them losing every week if it’s a loss of note, and it’s spectacular. Look at how Heath Slater sells Tommy’s DDT. That is something we need on the show.

3. Seriously though, what’s with the Drew McIntyre hate? The announcers wouldn’t shut up about how pointless and hapless he is. When Del Rio shoved him off the apron into the announcers table, they were all “thanks Drew, there go our monitors,” as if Drew just turned around and launched himself at them to ruin their day. It reminded me of ‘Glee,’ where Kitty convinces Marley to be bulimic because she’s jealous and hateful, so Marley gets super bulimic and faints during Sectionals and they lose, and everybody KNOWS Kitty is the one who got Marley started down this road, but they just blame Marley for the loss non-stop and she has to use her Christmas money for Eating Disorder Lessons and nobody cares, and the worst Kitty ever gets is one instance of Santana calling her a bitch. Kitty still gets to wear designer winter jackets and sing Christmas carols with everybody else like she never tried to KILL SOMEBODY OUT OF JEALOUSY. IT IS KITTY’S FAULT, STOP YELLING AT DREW MCINTYRE, HE IS A BEAUTIFUL ANGEL.

Or whatever.

Best: Owen Hart References, Or

Worst: Ryback Referencing Owen Hart

I wrote this about Owen Hart’s cameo appearance in the Best And Worst Of Raw Episode 1:

Owen only shows up for a second or two on this Raw, being beaten up backstage by Razor Ramon to help build Razor’s feud with Bret Hart. Because I write about Owen Hart even less than I write about Battle Bowl, I will give “Owen Hart getting kicked in the ribs while wearing his High Energy-esque Zubaz jumpsuit” a Best.

Everything Owen Hart ever did was a Best. Even the “leg out of your leg” thing. Everything.

So Ryback quoting Owen Hart gets an instant Best. However, Ryback quoting Owen Hart gets a Worst, because who the f**k is Ryback to be quoting Owen Hart. You aren’t the change, Ryback. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are the change. You’re a big muscular guy who screams all the time. You’re one of the guys Ren and Stimpy wrestled. You are the status quo.

Worst: Ryback Versus Cesaro Makes Me The Saddest Person

Yeah, so Antonio Cesaro, a guy who is bigger, stronger and more successful than Ryback, is too afraid to face Ryback in a match. Because “power,” I guess? No. This is a special Worst. I can’t even talk about it. Just … don’t do this match again, at least not until Skip’s in the waning days of his gimmick a la Brodus Clay and can get Alpamare Waterslid into oblivion.

Worst: Match Of The Year

cute kitten pictures

Hayley Williams Gifs

And for the record, Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan at Extreme Rules is the best WWE match of the year by miles and miles and miles.

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