Worst: I Like Leo Kruger’s Character More Than Leo Kruger’s Wrestling, Or
Worst: Dante Dash, aka The Prime Time Players As One Guy
So, Leo Kruger is back, and he still hasn’t gotten SO good at being a character that it excuses his wrestling faults, a la Bray Wyatt. He’s great and weird, but he’s still Leo Kruger in the ring, and watching him work the arm all match to set up a clothesline (a clothesline that isn’t even good) is stupid. And his finish is an armbar that works the pectoral, and guys are screaming and tapping out because their arm is supposed to be hurt. Gordon Solie has to have some tape recorders lying around that explain shit like this, right?
A supplementary Worst goes to the hastily named DANTE DASH, who is, as I mentioned, both Prime Time Players as one guy. He’s got the Titus football background, muscular build and dark skin, but he’s got Darren Young’s gaudy accessories and body language. He needs to carry around a hair pick and a whistle, and/or lose to a guy who is a combination of Kane and Daniel Bryan every week.
Hey, you know who is a combination of Kane and Daniel Bryan? Every e-fed wrestler ever.
Worst: Nope, All My Bo Dallas Good Will Is Gone
Last week I gave Bo Dallas credit for embracing the “I’m a good guy, but people hate me because I’m not cool” act, mostly because I thought he’d turned a corner as a character and was gonna work with this natural flaws, i.e. looking and acting like Bo Dallas. But NOPE, fast forward a week and he’s still the same Bo Dallas, doing fiery comebacks and repeated knockdowns and yelling shit like YEAHHH COME ONNNN and getting mildly booed for it.
That’s the problem with Bo … the mildness. He’s not a TERRIBLE wrestler, he’s just a mild one who gets pushed and given opportunities that at least 15 dynamic NXT motherf**kers I can name off the top of my head don’t get. The crowd doesn’t give him Vickie Guerrero reactions or anything, they just sincerely don’t want to see him wrestling. If he isn’t gonna run with that and he’s gonna keep getting put into (NXT) main event feuds with clear heels like Leo Kruger at the audience’s expense … then yeah, no mo’ Bo.
Worst: Rise Above The “What” Chants, NXT Crowd
You’re better than this. No wrestling crowd of fewer than 5,000 people should be chanting “what.” Once you break 5,000, you’re officially a “Universe,” and that transitions the vibe from “a community of fans watching a wrestling show together” to “do what you’re told when we tell you to and don’t miss any of your cues.”
Best: FINAL BOSS
The main-event was a tag team match between one guy I like (Kassius Ohno) and four I don’t (Corey Graves, Impact Wrestling The Tag Team and their manager, rap album-era Macho Man Randy Savage), but it gets a super bright and shiny Best for the brawl at the end.
The Wyatt Family shows up to destroy the faces (+1). Adrian Neville runs out to make the save (+1) but gets beaten up by everybody. That draws BILL F’N REGAL out from behind the announce table to join in the fight and assumedly set up a beef between him and Bray Wyatt, giving Wyatt that “NXT FINAL BATTLE” thing Ohno and Ambrose got to test whether or not they’re ready to be epic, top-shelf main roster guys (+infinity). If you are not down for a Bray Wyatt/William Regal feud, you are disqualified from wrestling fandom and are no longer allowed to read this column or speak to other humans. This is gonna be GOOD.
And the only thing that could be a bigger Best than that? I MIGHT GET TO SEE IT ALL HAPPEN LIVE.
Best: Holy Crap, I Am Going To The Next NXT Tapings
I’m going to be live and in general admission (woo) for the next set of Full Sail NXT tapings. It’ll be my first-ever live NXT show, and I am so unbelievably excited to meet these guys, because my love of wrestling and Minor League Baseball have sorta set me up to claim lower-level hopefuls as my favorites. If a mark photo of me with Emma happens, I may retire this column completely and just write happy love poems on Geocities for the rest of my life.
So yeah, if you’re a reader (or a friend, or Emma) in the Orlando area and want to say hi, I’ll be down there between July 10-14. Say hi to me at NXT, or at Shine 11. It’s gonna be fun.