Tonight, on an episode of WWE Raw you did not have to pay almost $60 for:
The abeyance holds: Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton’s dueling play for the vacated WWE Championship ended in explosive – if indecisive – fashion thanks to the interference of Big Show. The giant’s presence threw the match, and the WWE Title picture, into even more turmoil than it had already been. If that wasn’t enough of a wrinkle in “The Authority’s” plans, the Rhodes brothers prevailed over The Shield and got their jobs back. With Triple H & Stephanie McMahon’s carefully-constructed empire on the verge of collapse, what does tonight’s Raw hold in store for the power couple? (via WWE.com)
Our five-point preview:
1. First things first, be sure you’ve read The Best and Worst of WWE Battleground. That should be a template for literally everything that happens on tonight’s show, minus Los Matadores.
2. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon didn’t bother sticking around to watch the show they were so instrumental in manipulating, so I’m hoping that continues tonight. Brad Maddox is backstage and Vickie wanders in expecting to make fun of him, and he just hangs up his phone and says “Triple H and Stephanie had a wrestling show authority figure convention in Aspen, they aren’t gonna make it tonight. We weren’t invited.” And then Vickie walks out all dejected, and Teddy Long appears from out of nowhere and blasts her in the face with a pie.
3. Cody Rhodes and Goldust got their jobs back at last night’s Battleground, and a show with Cody and Dustin on it is a show worth watching. Watch for their segment to be the best one on Raw, especially if it involves Handsome Prince Roman Reigns.
4. CM Punk beat Ryback last night, so assuming Brock Lesnar doesn’t show up we’re down to just Curtis Axel again. Get ready for a DEVIOUS PLAN that is just Curtis Axel holding a bookbag in front of his crotch so you can’t see his sneak-attack boner.
5. As I mentioned in the Battleground report, I’m (for once) not writing about Raw tonight. That duty is being handed over to Joe Starr, who you may know from The Nerdist. If you need confirmation that he’s hilarious, here’s him doing Jon Snow doing stand-up comedy. Be nice to him.
We’re still doing the top 10 best comments of the night, though, so reply to the ones you like most with a +1. I’ll pick the 10 best and tack them onto the end of Joe’s report.
Enjoy the show, everybody.