Tonight, on the SOMEWHAT OVER THE TOP With Leather WWE Raw open discussion thread:
The Road to WrestleMania is finally clear, and the main event of Batista challenging Randy Orton for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship is set. However, the lay of the land is anything but calm in WWE the night after Elimination Chamber. The Shield’s dominance is in question after they failed to defeat The Wyatt Family, John Cena and Daniel Bryan are gunning for the Superstars who cost them the WWE World Heavyweight Championship … and, of course, there’s the little matter of a returning WWE Hall of Famer. So check out WWE.com’s five-point preview for the first Raw on The Road to WrestleMania … brother. (via WWE.com)
Our five-point preview:
1. The WWE Network launched today. More importantly, it launched a hundred thousand WHY ISN’T THIS WORKING FOR ME responses. It hasn’t worked for me yet, but I’m keeping it together. If I have to wait until next week to watch Fall Brawl 93, so be it. I will say though, if WWE Network operation-farts me out of being able to see NXT Arrival I will Mongolian chop my computer and throw that shit in the yard.
2. Hulk Hogan returns tonight. Over-under on how long he’ll stand in the ring making wistful-face to milk the crowd reaction before actually saying or doing anything is set at 3 minutes. Personally I want them to sit on their hands during his introduction so he can reach his hand out to them, recoil it quickly and yell “AAH! IT’S NOT HOT!”
3. WWE’s five-point preview makes it sound like there’s no reason for The Shield to stay together after “failing their biggest test” against The Wyatt Family, but they’re missing the big picture: one of these guys had to have a “rematch clause” “in their contract” somewhere, so let’s just run a bunch of rematches until my hands bleed to death from clapping and fall off my arms.
4. If you’re excited about Randy Orton vs. Batista at WrestleMania, raise your hand. Now, put your hand in a blender.
5. Look for Daniel Bryan to somehow work his way into the Mania title match, probably via someone much more important who takes pity on him for his troubles and helps him out. Cena, Hogan, Triple H, take your pick.
As always, tonight’s 10 best comments will be featured in tomorrow’s Best and Worst of WWE Raw report, so nominate your favorites from tonight’s thread for consideration by replying to them with +1.
Enjoy the top of the show, everybody, and then the part that is WAY OVER that.