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Vintage Best And Worst: WWE NXT 5/4/10, Season 1 Episode 11

By 03.05.14

David Otunga R-Truth NXT

Worst: The Payoff For Last Week’s Hour Of Program Sales Is A Five-Minute Squash For R-Truth

… and it’s only five minutes because they threw in a commercial break.

But hey, look, another wrestling match! See that abdominal stretch? That was the most exciting thing in the match. I think most of us had abandoned ship at this point, including every single person involved in the show, so they just had Matt Striker drag the ring steps up onto the stage for a monkey bars party and wrote “NXT ROOKIE LOSES, OBVIOUSLY” on the whiteboard. They wouldn’t erase it for like three years.

I also think everyone had realized what a lost cause David Otunga was in the ring, which is why they didn’t do a lot to protect his weakness and only gave him several runs with the tag team championships before shuffling him into a NPC and then obscurity. To reiterate so this thing isn’t wholly negative, Otunga RULES as a NPC. He does not rule in obscurity OR in matches against R-Truth, but I guess you can’t blame him for either.

Michael Tarver pukes

Worst: He’s Gonna HE’S GONNA He’s Gonna HE’S GONNA PUKE, HE’S GONNA PUKE

The other obstacle course highlight of the night was good ol’ Mike Tarver and his attempt to drink Diet RC or whatever out of a John Cena cup without hurling. Spoiler alert: he can’t, he hurls, and he gets disqualified. He was the last rookie to run the course, and his disqualification meant Justin Gabriel had immunity from being kicked off Wanking Motion Island, which caused this face:

Justin Gabriel NXT

“F*ck yeah Michael Tarver soda vomit!”

Tarver takes his place in history alongside other great WWE vomiters such as Droz, The Ultimate Warrior, Titus O’Neil, Booker T and Michael Cole.

Screen Shot 2014-03-03 at 3.34.14 PM

Worst: David Otunga Needs To Be A Star

The main-event of the show is Matt Striker walking down the row of NXT rookies and asking them who should go home. Tarver says that HE should go home, a statement that in-context is meant to be a threat — if he’s at home, then everybody else in the competition is safe from bodily harm — but ends up being an excuse for WWE creative types with no concept of context to send him home for “not wanting it bad enough” or whatever. Everybody else jumps on the Tarver bandwagon, but Justin Gabriel just sorta scoffs and mentions how David Otunga doesn’t have any talent.

Otunga’s response is to call him “Justin GAY-briel.” Heavy emphasis on the “gay.” Seriously. This is seriously a thing David Otunga, Harvard graduate and family man, said as a comeback on a wrestling show. Not very fastidious of you, Dave.

A few seconds later they ask Darren Young what he thinks, so he goes down the line all I’M BETTER THAN YOU, I’M BETTER THAN YOU, gets pie-faced by Wade Barrett and just GOES FOR HIM in this weird, end-of-show fight that honestly looked pretty legitimate. You’ve got 8 guys who desperately want a WWE career, some who’ve been killing themselves for years just for an opportunity, and all they’ve done for the past 11 weeks is feel bad about themselves and run obstacle courses. I don’t blame them at all. Keep up this kind of treatment, WWE, and these guys are bound to destroy your ring and choke your ring announcers with articles of clothing.

Worst: The Face Of A Defeated Man

Daniel Bryan NXT

:(


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TOPICS#VINTAGE BEST AND WORST#WWE#WWE NXT
TAGSBEST AND WORST OF NXTDaniel BryanDARREN YOUNGDAVID OTUNGAHEATH SLATERHOMOPHOBESJUSTIN GABRIELMICHAEL TARVERNXTNXT SEASON 1OBSTACLE COURSESPRO WRESTLINGR-TRUTHSKIP SHEFFIELDSODAWADE BARRETT

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